Lookout For Miss Right – Episode 9

So, this was the scenario; I was being held hostage by an unarmed woman, and the key to my freedom was in her bra. If I
wasn’t in the situation myself, I honestly would have laughed. How on earth had I gotten myself into such a situation?
     I glanced at Sonia, obviously she wasn’t giving up; she had struck a seductive pose on the bed, the smile on her face was an odd mixture of feral and frightening.
     Another thought began to fill my head, what if she had AIDS? Or some kind of STD?
“Jake…I’m horny,” She cooed, batting her lashes at me, “Stop thinking for a moment and come here.”
I didn’t look at her, couldn’t look at her. I had never been this disgusted by a lady before and I wondered where my earlier attraction to her had gone.
“Your dad came to my office this morning. He was looking for you,” I said, making a last effort to change her mind, “he warned
me to stay away from you.”
“Leave my dad out of this, darh…ling.” She stressed the word. “He thinks he knows what’s best for me, but he doesn’t.”
“Maybe he does.” I said lamely. “Sonia, this is madness. You can’t force me to…”
“Are you gay?” She interrupted.
   I stared at her incredulously, not saying a word.
“I know you’re not.” She said. “There’s nothing crazy about this. I love you and I want to be with you. And you feel the same way too, you’re just denying it.”
“Why do you assume I feel the same way?” I asked, stalling. I needed time to figure out a way out of there.
She stood up and walked towards me. “I see it in your eyes. I see the way you look at me, Jake. I know.”
What you see is disgust not desire. I wanted to say.
She placed her hands on the side of my face and looked into my eyes. “I know you feel the same way. I know it! I know it! So
don’t tell me you don’t!” She was screaming now.
I was perplexed at the sudden mood change. One moment she had been calm and collected, the next, she was hysterical.
  I took her hands away from my face gently, they were shaking.
“Sonia… calm down.” I spoke gently, wondering how to convince her to give me the key.
“No! I’ve been calm! You keep rejecting me!” She pulled away from me and began hitting my chest. “Why won’t you love me? Why?!… Why?! Aren’t I good enough for you?!” She was yelling now, tears
streaming down her face.
I pitied her. She was like a hysterical child throwing a tantrum. I seized her hands again, momentarily stopping her tantrum.
She collapsed against me, sobbing. I held her, trying to sooth her.     
    Obviously the girl had emotional issues. Her tears subsided and she clung to me of her own volition.
“Please don’t leave me.” she pleaded in a
tiny voice.
How could I tell her that no matter how much I pitied her, I didn’t want to be there? That I had promised her father to stay away from her?

“I have to go, Sonia. Please. Your father would kill me if he knows I’m here.” I tried to rationalize with her.
  Instantly, another mood swing. She pulled away from me like she had been stung. Her anger had returned.
“You’re not leaving me.” she said. “Not until I’m satisfied.”
Oh God. I prayed. Save me from this woman. Why couldn’t I reason with her?

She thrust her tits at me, I couldn’t help noticing how they danced voluntarily…like her own personal cheerleaders. I think my
disgust overrode my desire because I found I wasn’t aroused.
“I know you want me. Stop fighting it.” She trailed a finger down my chest.
   I stepped away from her. “I have to go to the bathroom.” I said and without waiting for a reply, I made a beeline for the
bathroom. On getting there, I locked the door behind me.
Now I had to think of how to get out from this situation unscathed; without awakening the demon in her or alerting Chief Odeniran.
  The bathroom was fairly big and comfortable,most importantly it was clean.
I began brainstorming…I knew I could overpower her with little stress but I also thought of the consequences.
    She might make the allegation of assault or rape, and no one would believe my story.
“Jakey… don’t keep a lady waiting.” I heard her say.
“I’m taking a bath.” I lied and immediately
turned on the tap.
“Aaaaw… you don’t have to do all that for me,” she said. “Know what? Why don’t I join you? It’ll be fun.”
I groaned inwardly. Didn’t she know when to quit?
“No need. I’ll…uh…we’ll do that later.” I said, increasing the tempo of the faucet to block out her voice.

I sat on the edge of the bathtub, trying to figure out what to do. Guys help me out here. If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

And then I remembered I had my phone! Why hadn’t I thought about it before?
     Immediately an idea began to form in my head…
       I took out my phone and began typing.

To be continued.

A Sibling for Christmas.

“I forgot my wallet in church.”
“Oh no, Tolu. Not again.”
“Baby, I’m sorry.”
“Now what?”
“I have to get it. I have my ATM cards and all in it.”
“Aaaaw baby. On Christmas day of all days?”
“I  won’t be long I promise. Just get lunch ready and I’ll be back before you can blink.”
“Well, I just blinked.”
He kisses her. “I love you my precious. I’m sorry for being sloppy. I’ll be back soon.”
“Just go.” She taps his butt playfully.
She listens as the car drives off, shaking her head at her husband’s forgetful act.
Well, she thinks. I might as well make use of the time and get lunch ready.
An hour later, the table is set. Lunch is ready. The  living room is beautifully decorated  and Christmas carols filter into the air. Her husband isn’t back yet.
Now she worries, the church is only a drive away; it shouldn’t have taken him so long to go there and back in thirty minutes.
She dials his phone. It rings but he doesn’t pick. She tries again, the results are the same.
What now?
Two hours and sixteen phone calls later,  she’s now worried sick. She paces the living room, pensive.
Ten minutes later, the doorbell rings.
Ah. Finally! She rushes to the door, flings it open and gets reay to scold him. But he isn’t the one standing there.
It is a serious looking man.
At first she isn’t bothered until he opens his mouth and identifies himself.
Ten seconds later she collapses to the floor. She’s just heard the worse news of her life.
Her husband is dead. A car crash. There are no survivors.
The day is 25th December.

******************************************

The first time she set eyes on the tiny bundle, she fell hopelessly in love with her. The nursemaids could see it in her eyes.
When the woman had come in six weeks ago, she’d had a blank look in her eyes, like she’d taken enough beating from life. But today was different.
Curiosity made the nurse to ask;
“Your first child?”
She looked up, now. A sad look crossed her face and the nurse couldn’t help marvelling at the beautiful face that the woman had. “No. I lost my first baby, stillbirth.”
“I’m sorry. What about your husband?”
A pause. “He died two years ago.”
“Oh my. I’m really sorry about that ma’am.” The nurse cringed to think that she’d been right; life had sure taught this woman a hard lesson.
“In fact it’ll be exactly two years on Christmas day.” The woman continued in a shaky voice.
Silence.
“So you see, I need this baby. I’ve had so much tragedy in my life for the past two years.”
“I understand ma. When would you like to sign the adoption papers?”
“Do you work on 25th December?”
A bewildered look. “Yes, yes we do.”
“Good. I’ll like to sign the adoption papers that day.”
“B…But why?”
“I want to trick fate.” The woman kissed the baby tenderly. “I’m naming her Christmas.”
The nurse wasn’t sure she wanted to hear more. The woman was obviously troubled. Naming a child Christmas! How strange! What would her life be like with a name like that?
But of course she couldn’t ask all that. The woman obviously knew what she was doing.

A week later, the adoption papers were signed.
Christmas had a new home.

**********************************************************

“Hello ma!”
“Hello, you don’t remember me, do you?”
“Eh…I’m trying to recall where I’ve seen this face before.” The nurse squinted.
“Well, it’s been sixteen years. I don’t expect you to remember but let me ask, is it all the time you get people wanting to adopt babies on Christmas day”
“No…ah! It is you!  I remember! Well, you’ve aged quite well. And who’s the lovely lady with you?”
A smile. “This is my daughter, Christmas.”
“Oh my! You really gave her that name? Honey, how are you? You’re so beautiful! You even look a bit like your mummy!”
“Thank you ma. She’s the best in the world. And my friends call me Chrissie.”
“Chrissie. Lovely. It’s not all the time we get visits from our adoptive parents. So, how can I help you? Or did you come here to catch up on old times?”
“Hahaha. As much as I wish to Mrs Bola, we’re here for serious business.”
“Oh? Tell me.”
“We want to adopt another baby. Christmas needs a sibling.”
The nurse laughed. “You’re a funny woman ma; you and your daughter both.”
“Yes, I know. But you see, ever since Chrissie came into my life, things changed. She’s very symbolic of our Saviour Jesus to me and I know that sounds a bit blasphemous but you have to be in my shoes to know what I mean.”
Mrs Bola stared at the two women before her. She could literally feel the connection between them, she saw the look of love that passed between them and she smiled. For the first time in a long while, her heart swelled at being able to give these two people hope.
“Of course. Let’s talk. I’m sure we’ll find a baby that suits you both just fine.” As she turned to enter her office, a thought occurred to her. “Have you made your peace with fate?”
The woman grinned. It’s easy to see that she’s happy. “I’ve made my peace with God.”

The End.
Written by MIMIADEBAYO

I KNOW THIS ISN’T YOUR TYPICAL CHRISTMAS STORY BUT ALL  THE SAME MERRY CHRISTMAS AND AS WE CELEBRATE, LET’S NOT FORET THE REASON FOR THE SEASON.
CHRISTMAS COULD BE FICTION BUT THE FACT STILL REMAINS THAT A SAVIOUR WAS BORN TO SAVE US. SO, SPREAD THE LOVE AROUND.
CHEERS!

Lookout For Miss Right – 8

Immediately I wished I hadn’t picked the call. Sleep disappeared from my eyes.
“Jake, where are you?” She asked without any preamble.
I hesitated. “Why are you asking?”
“You were a naughty boy last night, you know.”
Almost immediately I remembered Chief Odeniran’s threat and my promise to avoid Sonia at all costs.
“You there, Jake?”
“I’m a bit busy right now Sonia. Sorry about last night but I had to go to work this morning.”
“Well I’ve forgiven you already but I need your help.”
I groaned inwardly. What could she want this time?
“I’m sorry but I didn’t know who else to call.” She continued.
“What is it?” I let the impatience show in my voice.
“I’m stuck somewhere right now and kinda need your help. I just realised I don’t have any money on me and I need to get home. Can you come pick me up please?” She cooed.
I knew she was lying. This was another ploy to get me to see her and I wanted no part in it.
“Call your father.” I said curtly.
“Oh my. Has he come to see you? Is that why you’re being so harsh? Jake please come pick me up, I can’t call my dad; he’ll kill me.”
And what about me? I wanted to ask.
“Then call someone else, I’m busy.”
“I’ll call my father,” the tone of her voice changed. “I’ll tell him you tried to rape me yesterday.”
“What!” I couldn’t believe my ears. What exactly was this girl up to?
“I’m sorry Jake. Don’t make me do this. I just need you to pick me up.”
“Why me? What do you want from me? Why are you doing this?” Frustration echoed in my voice.
“Jake darling,” the words rolled off her tongue. “I don’t want anything from you. Don’t you understand? I just want you.”
Her words resounded in my ears. I want you, I want you…

Wordless, I hung up; not to spite her but because I was confused. I didn’t know how to respond to that confession. It was weird. I had met this girl once last week and since then my life had become a nightmare.
My phone rang again, this time I checked the caller ID, it was a different number from the one she’d used  to call me. After debating whether or not to pick the call, I decided to ignore it.
When the ringing finally stopped; my phone beeped signalling an incoming text message. By the time I read it I was convinced the girl was crazy.
The text said:
“Jake, I have the Commissioner of Police on speed dial and I won’t hesitate to use it. I don’t think you want to sleep in a cell this night. Baby, please don’t make this difficult for me. If you don’t call me for the address within five minutes, I’ll be forced to use this number. I’ll be waiting.”
I’m going to admit I was nervous. I had never encountered such a lady before and somehow I believed that her threats were not empty. As I pondered on what to do, I was very conscious of the time. She’d said five minutes. Only five damn minutes to decide whether to risk spending the night in a cell for a fabricated crime or to pick up a wacko girl from wherever she was.
I made a decision. She was the one calling the shots here, I couldn’t deny that. I dialled her number and took down the address.
When I arrived at the hotel, I said a small prayer as I got to  the door of her hotel room. I hoped to put an end to this nonsense.
“Who is it?” She asked when I knocked
When I identified myself, the door opened immediately and she stood there with a big smile on her face.
She looked every inch the woman she was. She’d overdone it a bit, though. Everything about her reeked sensuality. She was dressed in a sinfully short black gown that hugged her body and showed off her contours. The first thought that came to mind on seeing her was the book titled ‘The devil wears Prada’
“You came!” She looked delighted to see me.
“I didn’t have a choice, did I?” I snapped.
“Oh, don’t be like that darling. Come in.”
Just seeing her, I knew what her mission was already. This wasn’t going to be a rescue mission. In fact if anyone needed rescuing it was going to be me.
I found my eyes straying to her exposed chest and I berated myself.
“Sorry I had to do it that way, darling.” She slipped her hand in mine and pulled me fully into the room.
So here’s the thing; I’d never had a woman have designs on me like this one did. She’d created a very romantic and tempting setting and if I hadn’t been suspicious already, I won’t have minded one bit.
The room was dimly lit with scented candles, the blinds were drawn. There were red rose petals sprayed on the pathway leading to the bed. The bed itself was clothed in white linen sheets with rose petals decorating it. A bottle of wine stood on the bedside table.
“You like it?” She asked.
“It’s okay,” I replied, unenthusiastic. “What exactly is all this?”
“Don’t be like that, my darling. I wanted our first time to be special.” She placed a hand on my chest.
Blood of Jesus! I wanted to scream.
What on earth had I gotten myself into?
“Sonia, let’s get something straight here…” I began. “The truth is I don’t know what I’m doing here but get this; there is no ‘us’.”
Her expression underwent a change rapidly. She took a step back and stood with arms akimbo. A woman scorned…
“What the hell are you saying?” She demanded.
“I’m saying you’ve got it all wrong. There’s nothing between us and there never will be. I don’t even want to be here.”
“But…I love you Jake.” She was pleading now. “I love you and I know you love me too.”
“Sonia that’s….”
“Shut up Jake. Listen to me, I’m in love with you and I know you feel the same way too.” She pressed herself against me. “I will go to any length to have you. Read my lips.”
I suddenly had the intense need to run as far away from her as possible. Everything was getting out of hand.
“I’m sorry Sonia but I have to go.”
She stared at me for a second and just when I thought I’d finally gotten through, she stepped away from me, went to the door and locked it. And then did something strange.
She tucked the key into her bra. There was a mischievous glint in her eye.
“You wanna leave?” She asked. “Then come get it.”

At that moment I knew was screwed…

TO BE CONTINUED.

Lookout For Miss Right – 7

I couldn’t believe my ears. I blinked, looking from one man to the other.
“I don’t understand,” I said. “Who are you?”
Both men looked threatening enough but I found I wasn’t really bothered. Instead I was irritated.
“Let me repeat my question. Where’s Sonia Odeniran?” The taller one asked a hint of menace in his voice.
I was becoming irritated with this Sonia drama; I hadn’t finished wrapping my head around the incident of last night and here were these strangers showing up on my doorstep early this morning.
Besides, the same question kept plaguing me. How had they found out where I live?
“You know what? I can’t do this now. I have to be at work in ten minutes, so please come back some other time, ok?” I turned to go back into the house.
“Sorry Mister. But we have to do this now. We have information that you saw her last night.” The other one spoke this time. His voice came out in a grunt.
“Information from who?” I asked. It was making me uncomfortable to know that my every move was being monitored.  “You’re stalking me?”
They didn’t answer me and suddenly I was infuriated. I walked into the house without a second thought and slammed the door behind me. For a moment I thought they would come after me and try to force the door open.
They didn’t.
I finished dressing and got ready for work. I took a deep breath and opened my door; praying that they’d left.
Yes, they had. But someone else stood there. A woman who’d been showing up at odd times. Barbara.
I groaned inwardly. What was this about now?
“What are you doing here?” I demanded.
“Easy man.” She sidled up to me.
“Anyway, I can’t talk now. I’m off to work and I’m late. So later.” My mood was suddenly sour. I brushed past her and headed towards my car.
“Wait. I need to talk to you.” She said, following me.
“Wow. It seems everyone wants to talk to me today. I’ve suddenly become a celebrity.” My voice dipped with sarcasm.
“Please.”
I was already at my car, I opened it and threw my suitcase inside. Then I turned to face her.
“Answer this first.” I asked.
“Okay.”
“How did you find out where I live?”
She paused.
Shaking my head, I climbed into my car. It was then I noticed the black jeep parked across the road. From where I sat, I could make out the faces of the men that had been on my doorstep a few minutes ago. What in God’s name was going on here?
“I want to talk about Sonia.” She said finally.
If I was interested before, I was curious now. What connection did Sonia have with Barbara? What Pandora box had I opened by meeting Sonia Odeniran?
“Do you know where she is?” She didn’t mince words.
“I think I’m the one who needs answers here.” I said, anger welling up in me. Yesterday had been no coincidence after all.
“There’s no time for that now. Just tell me where she is.”
Now, I stepped out of the car and towered over her. “You have some nerve lady. Walking up to me, in my own house and demanding answers. Do I look stupid to you?” I was almost raving mad.
She instantly looked apologetic. “Please, it’s urgent.”
I sighed and glanced at my wrist watch. “I dropped her off at home last night.”
I  didn’t wait for her to answer before I got into my car and drove off.
I played back everything that had happened the previous night and the pieces began to fall into place. Meeting Barbara at the restaurant last night had been no coincidence.
I arrived at work late and had to hurry to my cubicle. My colleague, Jennifer sat tense behind her desk.
“You’re late. What’s up?” She asked.
I sighed. “Got held up. Why the face?”
“Someone big showed up. He’s been in with the manager for a while.”
“Who?”
“Chief Odeniran.”
“Chief Odeniran?” Now I was worried.
“Mmhhmmm. He’s been there for a few minutes now.”
I sat down with a thump. What was going on now?
“You okay? You seem disturbed.” Jennifer asked, breaking into my reverie.
I shrugged. “I’m okay. Just a bit tired. Didn’t get enough sleep last night.”
“Eeeya kpele,” She said. “Anyway, you should know…the manager asked that you come to his office as soon as you arrive.”
I perked up instantly. “He wants to see me?”
“Yes,” she was staring at me. “Are you in trouble?”
“I’m not sure what I did exactly. Let me go find out.”
As I made my way to the manager’s office, I braced myself for whatever confrontation I was going to face. I determined that I wasn’t going to let Chief Odeniran intimidate me.
He was backing me when I entered the office. It wasn’t until Mr Bello, my boss acknowledged my presence that Chief turned to face me.
I may have seen him previously on one or two occasions but none had ever been this up close. I was looking in the face of a very influential man, everything about his demeanour was imposing; from his outfit to the look on his bearded face. He was on the large side, sporting a pot-belly, I could see the resemblance between him and Sonia.
He was dressed in a flowing agbada and the look on his face was less than welcoming.
I greeted both men as warmly as possible.
“Aaah… Jacob. Come on in and make yourself comfortable.” Mr Bello waved me towards a sofa.
I took a seat and waited.
“I’m sure you know Chief here. He’s one of our major clients.” Mr Bello began. “You know our job is to make our clients happy.”
I nodded, wondering where this was going.
“Chief here, has a…er… complaint.”
“Complaint? About my job?”
My boss looked uncomfortable. He shifted in his seat. “Er…not about your job per se. It’s a personal complaint.”
I stiffened. Chief Odeniran really had the nerve to show up at my workplace to make a personal complaint about me? I couldn’t believe it. Didn’t he have better things to do than traipse around all day trying to keep his daughter away from men?
I glanced at him. He sat, stoic; looking every inch the powerful man he was.
“He seems to think you have something to hide” Mr Bello was saying. “I think it’s about his daughter. It seems you’ve been making…er…unusual advances towards her. And he wants them to stop.”
I almost laughed out loud. That was his complaint? How pathetic.
“Sir,” I began, addressing my boss. “His fears are unfounded. I have nothing to do with his daughter; in fact she stood me up on a planned date. I wouldn’t exactly call that a relationship.”
From the look on my boss’ face I could tell he didn’t like the part he was playing in this. It wasn’t often that he was called to interfere in matters like this involving his employees.
It sounded strange to me that a man like Chief Odeniran will make such a trip just to warn me off his daughter.
“Sir you know me. When it comes to my job, I take it very serious but I think whatever has to do with my personal life should be left alone.” I turned to Chief Odeniran. “Sir I assure you, nothing is going on between me and your daughter. You have my word that I won’t touch her with a ten-foot pole.”
I added the last phrase for effect; a slight insult for him to go home with.
His nostrils flared as he looked at me. “She was at your place last night.”
“Indeed sir. Although, how she found my place, I have no idea. I don’t recall inviting or giving her descriptions.” I snorted.
He humphed, glaring at me. Then he stood up.
“I don’t want you to see, smell or even breathe the same air with my daughter.” He delivered one final warning then faced my boss. “Learn to keep your employees in check. I don’t want to have to make this trip again.”
With that he stormed out.
As soon as he left, I stood to leave…
“And where do you think you’re going?” My boss asked in a growl. “Sit down and explain to me exactly what’s going on.”
“It’s nothing serious sir. He’s just being overprotective.” I replied, still standing.
“Overprotective is what made a man like Chief Odeniran come to my office as early as this?”
“Frankly, even I am surprised.”
My boss frowned at me. “Don’t let this happen again. I don’t like being told what to do in my own office, especially not in the morning.”
“I’m sorry sir. It won’t happen again.” I apologised.
“Good. Better keep your pants zipped and be careful who you dally with.”
“Yes sir.”
“You may go back to work.”
As I walked back to my office, I wondered whether this was the last I’d heard from the Odenirans.
I worked earnestly the rest of the day and soon I forgot the meeting that had taken place that morning. When I finally closed work I was exhausted.
Thankfully there were no strange visitors waiting for me, I sighed in relief.
As soon as I had eaten, I dozed off. The sound of my phone ringing woke me up. I rolled over and picked the phone.
“Hello.”
“Hi Jake. It’s me.”
Instantly I knew who it was, how could I forget?
I sat up immediately.
“Jake? You there?”
“Sonia?” I managed to say…

TO BE CONTINUED.

‘Whatever’ voted most annoying word

Have you ever felt so satisfied when you use the word ‘whatever’?
I bet you used it while doing that thing with your hand, you know,the one where you flick your hand in that annoying way. This piece will give you insight on the sentiments behind that word. Enjoy!

Let’s hear how it feels when you’re the one on the receiving end!
Don’t hesitate to share your thoughts.

MY MIND SNAPS

Hands down, no word grates more than “whatever,” a public opinion survey says.

The casual “whatever” was rated the most annoying word by 38 percent of 1,173 adult Americans surveyed in early December. And that is up from 32 percent a year earlier, pollsters said. What’s more, “whatever” has topped the annoying word charts for five straight years.

“The word can be very dismissive and rude,” said Mary Griffith, media director for Marist. “It’s a put-down to some extent and it can signal to the other person that what they are saying is not important.”

View original post 117 more words

Lookout for Miss Right – 6

I was astonished to see her on my doorstep at this time and for a moment I was speechless.
“Hi Jake.”
I could see her clearly now under the dimly lit sky. My jaw almost dropped when I saw what she was wearing- a transparent pink nightgown.
“I know you’re surprised to see me.” She said.
Damn right I am.
“We need to talk. Please let’s go in.”
There was something about the way she looked that made me uncomfortable. Her  braids fell to her shoulders in an untidy way, she didn’t look like the well-manicured, sophisticated lady I’d met at the party.
But it wasn’t just that. It was the look in her eyes that got me worried. It was a look I couldn’t quite place or put words to.
“Please talk to me. I know you’re mad at me. I’m sorry for not showing up for our date.” She apologised.
“What happened?” I asked eventually. I wanted to know.
“I…it’s a long story. Just let’s go in and talk.”
“I’m sorry Sonia, it’s late. Let’s do this some other time.” Suddenly I wasn’t in the mood for any games, particularly not one involving a half-naked woman.
“Jake, please!” She flung herself at me, a sense of urgency in her voice. “I want to talk to you. I have to!”
What the hell is going on? I wondered.
“Can’t we talk tomorrow? I promise I’ll call you.” Somehow I knew I wasn’t letting her into my house this night.
“You don’t know how much I’ve missed you!” She peered up at my face.
And then I saw it. That look I couldn’t define was back in her eyes.
It was manic.

I pried her away from slowly and tacitly. This was a situation I needed to get out of immediately. Something wasn’t right here and I could feel it. Chief Odeniran’s daughter who’d been bold, confident and flirty weeks ago was now desperate and petulant.
What did she want from me? Why had she stood me up few hours earlier if she was still going to show up at my house and beg?
.
“Jake please. It’s cold out here.” She continued, trying to hold on to me again.
First things first. I decided
“How did you know where I live?” I asked.
“I…uh…asked around. You’re pretty famous around here.” She said in a tiny voice.
She was lying. That was when I noticed her hands were trembling noticeably.
“Are you okay?” I asked. I particularly didn’t like talking with her outside at this time of the night, besides I’d had a long day and needed to go to work early the next morning.
“I just wanna be with you. I’ll be okay then.”
Uh-huh, seriously? Where exactly was this going?
I made up my mind that instant. “C’mon let me take you home.”
I watched her face undergo series of transformation, before she finally said:
“My home is with you.”
I stopped in my tracks. What kind of statement was that? I barely knew her, how could she say something like that? In fact, after this ordeal I wasn’t sure I wanted to know her.
“You’re not hearing me Jake. It’s you I want.” She tugged at my shirt.
I didn’t answer her.
“Jake talk to me!”
“Let me take you home,” I said, a plan hatching in my mind. “I’ll spend the night there if you want.”
Her face lit up like a child who’d just been told that Santa was real. She’d taken the bait.
“You want to…know where I live?”
“Yes. If you want me to.”
I led her to my car and she went without protesting. She filled the car with meaningless chatter as I drove at the same time giving me directions.
When we got to her house, I watched her fumble with the lock with her trembling hands. Finally, she opened the door and beamed at me.
“Come in, handsome. Welcome to my home.”
“Thank you. But, let me lock the car first, ok?”
She smiled at me in a woozy manner. “Okay. I’ll be waiting.”
I felt her eyes on my back as I walked to the car. Now was my chance.
As soon as I got to the car, I got in and without wasting any time, I started the ignition and drove away. It was a surprise I didn’t end up in a ditch with my car that night, because my eyes were drooping from sleep as I drove.
When I got home it was almost midnight. Groaning, I fell into bed fully clothed. That is, after I’d made sure there were no more sinister visitors.

I slept for barely  five hours when my alarm went off. I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower. Some forty minutes later as I was getting set to leave; I heard a knock on my door.
I glanced at my clock- 6:40am, who in God’s name could that be?

When I answered the door I met  with a surprise.
Two men in suits stood outside. They were barrel chested and wore sunglasses. To me, they looked like hit men. I’d never seen them before.
“Good morning gentlemen, how may I help you?” I asked.
“Mister Jacob Kojo?” One of them asked.
I was almost tempted to deny my name.
“I am.” I answered.
“We’re here for Miss Sonia.”
I stared at them, saying nothing.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Lookout For Miss Right – 5

“Hello.” She sounded unusually cheery.
“Um…hi.”
“May I join you?” Without waiting for an answer she slid into the chair opposite.
She looked…breath taking as usual even in her casual outfit of a blue sleeveless top and bum shorts that did justice to her legs.
“So, this is a pleasant surprise.” I observed.
She flashed me a smile. “A coincidence. I just stopped by to get food. I haven’t had time to cook lately.”
“Really?” I was wondering why she as all friendly, especially after our first meeting.
“Yes. What about you? Who’s the lucky girl?”
“Must there be a girl?” I dodged the question. “Can’t a gentleman eat out alone again?”
“Not when that gentleman is dressed like a prince,” She laughed at her own joke. “seriously, you’re meeting someone, right?”
I laughed too. “You got me. She hasn’t shown up yet.”
Our conversation went uphill from there. She was actually fun to converse with. But I noticed that the way I looked at her had changed a bit. After knowing what I knew about her and Femi, I just wasn’t interested in messing with her.
We finally rounded up our conversation by 9:30pm, I’d had no idea that time had flown by so quickly. We parted ways.
It wasn’t until I was in my car on my way home did the reality of this evening hit me. Sonia had stood me up.

Needless to say I was disappointed. Not just in Sonia but in myself too. I’d expected too much and had gotten nothing in return.
I’d indeed dressed like ‘a prince’ to impress this girl but she’d not only not shown up, she’d not even bothered to call or text to explain. I was more hurt than angry.
Perhaps there was a good reason she stood me up. Maybe she’d fallen sick or something. Or worse, she’d dropped dead. Hehehe.
I allowed myself a smile at my own crazy joke. Dead ko, alive ni.
During my drive home, I beat myself up about the incident. Ladies are just so unpredictable and too much trouble. I wished one could do without them.
Perhaps Sonia hadn’t been worth it after all. Everything about her had been wrong from the start. Yet that was what had intrigued me and pushed me to go on.
By the time I got to my doorstep, I was feeling much better. I noticed the lights were on in my in apartment. It could only mean one thing- Flores hadn’t left yet.
I knocked softly. “It’s Jake, open up.”
I heard the keys jangle in the lock and seconds later, the door fell open.
“Mmmm….someone’s home early,” She said as I walked in. “what happened? Date go awry?”
“Madam, stop teasing. I should ask you the same.” I settled on the couch. “Where’s your Prince Charming? Thought you both had a date tonight?”
“Don’t turn this around. I asked first. Tell me. What was she like?”
“Absent.” I replied.
“What?
“She didn’t show up.”
“What?”
“You heard me. I got stood up. Now, guess who I ran into instead.”
“Who?”
“Femi’s sister. Barbara what’s-her name-again?”
“Bode-Johnson, fish head.” She tapped me playfully on my head.
“Yes. We actually talked. She didn’t form for me like she did the first day.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“What else happened?”
“Nothing. What did you expect to happen? We talked. Simple.”
“Hmmm. If you say so.”
“What’s on your mind, Madam?”
“Don’t call me that, Oga.”
I smiled. “What are you thinking?”
“You still like her, don’t you?”
I shrugged. “Not in the way you think. I think she’s cool but I’m not going after her, if that’s what you’re thinking.” I massaged my temple. “Now, why are you still here?”
“Fred called and cancelled. Something about work.” She sighed. “You men, so unpredictable.”
“Oh really? Coming from someone whom one of her species stood me up.”
“Ehen, tell me about it. What exactly  happened?”
“I waited three hours, her majesty didn’t show up. No calls or texts to explain why.”
“That’s strange ooh.”
“Yes, very.”
“So what happens now?”
“Now, I just want to get into bed and sleep. I have work tomorrow. She can go to hell for all I care; she was too fat for me sef.”
Flores chuckled. “The thing pain you sha. Sometimes it’s good for you guys to face this kind of thing, una go humble sharply.”
“Femi no go take something like this.”
“Girls don’t stand Femi up. He womanises for a living.”
I smiled at the idea. But I knew there was some truth in it. “How does he do it?”
She eyed me. “The moment you want to switch business to womanising, please tell me so I will find my way. Isn’t one womaniser in this crew enough for you?”
I found myself laughing. Flores had always been able to do that.
“Anyway, if you’re hungry…there’s rice. Me, I’m on my way home. It’s quite late.”
I had almost forgotten she had to go home.
“I’ll drop you off. Thank you for the rice.  And for yabbing me till I laughed.”
She punched my shoulder lightly. “Don’t let this women-ish bother you. That’s why we’re called wo-men. To cause men some troubles. You’ll find your woman soon enough if you keep looking.  You’re handsome my friend, I’m sure ladies would be falling over themselves to have you. Sonia just missed out.”
“And you, my darling, are the best friend a guy could ask for. Now let’s get you home before you go all mushy on me.” I joked lightly to cover up the effect her words had on me.
The drive to Lugbe was short because the road was almost empty. We said our goodbyes and hugged.
Somehow I felt closer to her than I had in a long time. Our conversation made me realise how we’d all grown up. So different from when we’d first met.
I drove home with one thing on my mind- Sleep.

I parked my car in my usual spot and mounted my threshold. As I made to unlock the front door, my eyes fell on the shadow in the corner.
It was dark so I couldn’t quite make out the shape. Until the figure stepped out into the light.
I gasped.
It was Sonia.

TO BE CONTINUED… 

Morphed

I have always been innocent. At least I believed myself to be so up until three hours ago. No, scratch that, the crack of my innocence started years ago, but even then I’d considered myself a victim of the evil that pervaded the world.
That is, up until three hours ago.
I hear the baby crying from somewhere distant. I’m immobile. I can’t move, in fact  I’ve sat like this for close the past three hours.
The room is cramped and hot. My dress is soaked with sweat and something else. Blood. The room is sadly ventilated. The only source of fresh air is the four inch space in the wall called the window.
When we’d first moved here, I’d wondered what the landlord had thought while building the house; if it qualified to be called that.
All the while I’m sitting immobile; I avoid looking in that direction. I don’t want to see the evil I had just done that was beginning to reek in the stuffy room.
It’s 11pm on a Friday night and the compound seems to be empty. I’m betting everyone has gone to bed. Everyone except me.
Funny, he’ll never be going to anywhere ever again.
The reality of what I’ve done has just begun creeping in. All through the night, when I’d planned my escape, I‘d worked with a cold calculation I had no idea I was capable of.

Even when he’d walked into the room; staggering confidently like he always did, the fear hadn’t come then. I’d sat on the bed waiting patiently for him to come to me.
“Come say hi to me, sweetheart.”
I flinched. I hated when he called me that. I marvelled at his English. Impeccable as usual. Who would’ve ever suspected what a sick guy he was?
No one knew. Not the neighbours, although they could care less.
We had moved in here without any flourish, no grand entrance. Who would know what went on within the confines of this room?
“What is it my beauty?” He asked when I didn’t move. “Why you locked up in here in the dark?”
I stared at him. I was too busy calculating.

“Stupid girl! Come here!”  He was rough now. Getting angry; which is what I wanted. I wanted him to come to me.
“ You dare disobey me! I will deal with you!” He lunged for me.
I’d anticipated this so I moved slightly and he crashed into the bed. Now I stood up. I watched him raise himself up in slow, painful movements.
“You’re possessed!” He screamed at me, coming at me again.
This time I revealed the knife. His eyes widened when he saw the glimmer, but it was too late. He couldn’t stop himself.
I plunged it into his chest. His scream was deafening. I watched his mouth form into an O as he collapsed on me.
“Cursed…child.” He sputtered, blood spilling from the knife wound.

I didn’t shed a single tear when he finally died. I didn’t cry even when the baby began crying. I only cried when I thought of all the things life had deprived me of. I only wished for one thing, that God had given me a voice of my own. Every night since I can remember I’d begged God for a miracle. Just one day to have a voice of my own, one day to be able to talk.
And I asked myself if indeed there was a God who let bad things happen to good people like me. I had my answer. Bad things always happened to good people, but good people sometimes needed to become bad to fix the bad things in their life.
I didn’t know what life held for me now. My brother had always catered for me since our parents died.
And he’d told me the only way to pay him back. In kind.
The tears pour down my face now and I suddenly realise I’m all alone in this world. Well, me and my baby, of course.
I’m suddenly transformed; morphed. 
I’m a no longer just a handicapped person with a child; I’m also a killer.
I just killed my brother. The father of my child.

Written by Mimi Adebayo. Copyright 2013

Hilarious: The Most Embarrassing I-Want-You-Back Texts You’ll Ever Read

MY MIND SNAPS

The first rule of moving on after a breakup? Don’t contact your ex and never go so far as to text him or her.

The people who sent the texts below clearly never learned that lesson. Take a look at the cringe-inducing texts below — and whatever you do, don’t follow their lead.

View original post 1 more word

Lookout for Miss Right – 4

                                                The look on his face was all the confirmation I needed.

 

                “Is there some rule against that?” He asked, unfazed.

                “Your step sister fa?” Oscar asked. “Isn’t that taking the playboy thing too far?”

                “We’re not related by blood, so kini big deal ni?” He shrugged.

                The three of us shook our heads at him. His unscrupulousness had always amused us.

 

                That night I called Sonia Odeniran and set up a date with her. Our date was for Thursday but by Wednesday, I was already nervous as hell. I stopped by the barber’s and got a new haircut.

 

                I don’t know why but I wanted to impress her. There was something about her that made me want to be more than who I was. She seemed like someone who loved adventure and I was willing to give it to her.

                I was willing to take up another personality to impress this girl, which is why when Flores dropped by on Thursday afternoon with a set of shopping bags, I was pleasantly surprised.

 

                “I stopped by with a good luck charm.” She grinned at me as I opened the door for her.

                “You are a good luck charm.” I responded with a smile.

                “Hmmm…Mr Smooth talker. Get away joor.” She set he bags on the couch.

                “Got me something special?”

                “Maybe. Open up and see.”

                I opened up. I saw. I was pleased.

                She’d gotten me a new set of clothes. A jean and a beautifully patterned shirt to go.

                                I felt airborne as I tried the clothes on.

 

“So? You like them?” She asked as I emerged in my new clothes.

My answer was to swoop her in my arms and envelop her in a bear hug. When I put her down, her face was flushed  and I could see she was trying to suppress laughter.

 

                “Jacob Kojo, how dare you?” She asked, wagging a finger at me. “I will report you to my boyfriend.”

                I grinned, my face lit with mischief. “Oya now, go ahead.” I lunged for her again and this time, covered her in tickles.

                She screamed and laughed.

                “Stop, I beg you…” She whispered, tears leaking out of the corner of her eyes.

                I decided to have mercy on her and set her free.

                “I hate you. You’re evil.” She crawled away from me, holding her stomach. “You want me to die from too much laugh, abi?”

                “I thought laughter is the best medicine?” I teased.

                “Oh, get away. Better be on your way or you’ll be late for your date.”

                “Did I mention how much I like the outfit? Tell me, how do I look?”

                “You clean up nice, my friend.” She winked. “You look so good. Handsome.”

                “Thanks to you, my darling.”

                “I had no idea they’d be the right size.”

                “You’re a goddess.” I blew her a kiss. “So, do I look good enough for Sonia Odeniran?”

                “You sure look good enough for me.”

                I smiled. “Are you gonna be here when I get back?”

                “Don’t think so. Fred and I have a date later tonight.”

                I nodded, my nervousness was returning.

                “You’ll do good, okay? If she doesn’t like you like this, then either she’s blind or she needs to have her head checked. Now, be on your way. I’ll lock up when I’m leaving. Save the entire gist for me ooh.”

 

                 I left the house feeling a lot better and confident. I was going to conquer Mademoiselle Sonia!

                Our date was for 7pm. When I arrived at the venue of our date I chose a seat facing the door, where I could see her when she walked in. At that moment my phone rang.

                                It was Oscar.

                “Hey man, how far? How’s the date going?” He asked.

                “I just got here. She never come.”

                “Toh…I just called to wish you luck.”

                “You no serious. Na exam I dey write?”

                “Oh, you no know? The highest type of exam sef. Anyway, take care and have fun. We go talk later.”

 

                He hung up and I settled down to wait for Sonia. It was  7:30pm.

                I ordered a drink to keep me company as I waited. My phone beeped signalling an incoming text message. It was Femi telling me to “play my cards well and make daddy proud.”

                I laughed aloud when I read the message. My friends were indeed characters of different genre.

 

                8pm. Still no Sonia. Now I was getting worried. Even though I knew women like to keep a man waiting, wasn’t an hour too much for make-up and stuff?

                By 8:30pm I was restless. I had finished my drink and was thinking of ordering another one.

                I kept trying her number and was told that it was switched off. What the hell?

As I sat there, someone tapped me from behind.

                                “Thank God.” I turned to greet her.

 

                It wasn’t Sonia who was behind me. It was Barbara.