Lookout For Miss Right- 18

      Standing in the doorway like a bull getting ready to fight was someone I had come to fear more than the devil himself. Sonia.
Barbs and I scrambled to our feet, half-naked. I was clad in my blue boxer shorts, Barbs in her bra and panties, clutching the pink bed sheet.
“What is going on here?” Sonia bellowed again. She began advancing into the room, a crazed look in her eyes.
“Sonia, let’s talk about this please…” Barbs was saying.
“Talk? Talk? Okay…let’s talk about how you stole Austin from me! And now Jake!” Sonia screamed. She turned to me. “Is this your sick mother, you bastard?”
I didn’t know what to say, especially now that I knew her mental condition.
“Sonia…” I began.
“Shut up! Just shut up!” She yelled. “Barbara , you slut! I warned you never to come near my man, didn’t I?”
“It’s not my fault they prefer me,” Barbara wasn’t backing down. “And don’t you dare call me a slut again! How did you get in here? Get out! Get out now!”
Her words were cut off with a resounding slap. I hadn’t seen that coming.
Barbara reared back like a wounded cat. I thought she would start crying, the next thing I knew she had landed an equally resounding slap on Sonia’s face.
I was confused. If there was one thing I had learnt, it was never to get in the middle of a ladies’ ruckus. But I couldn’t leave them to kill themselves.
“Ladies please…” I began
It was no use; they had pounced on each other already. I did the first thing that came to my mind. I packed the rest of my clothing and exited the room as quickly as possible.
Why did trouble always have to catch up with me? I asked myself as I crawled into my car and slammed the door behind me.
Within minutes I was out of there and on my way home. I changed my mind when I remembered that Sonia knew my house and could easily find me.
I went to the only place I knew I could go. Oscar’s.
I didn’t know how I was going to face Femi, knowing what I had almost done. We hadn’t had sex technically, I consoled myself. But you were going to, another voice reminded me.
Well, Femi didn’t have to know about it. I couldn’t stand having him mad at me. So, I decided to keep it a secret and hope that Barbs would too.

              

Thinking of Barbs made me feel guilty. I had left her alone in the hands of a maniac. What if something terrible happened? Sonia was crazy and would go any length to have me. What if this led to something more serious?
With these nagging thoughts, I made a U- turn and began driving back to Barb’s place. I was partly responsible for the situation, so it only made sense that I do my best to salvage the damage.
I arrived barely twenty minutes later and rushed inside. The living room was empty as before, so I guessed that they were still in the bedroom. I made my way to the room cautiously and stood at the door. Both women stood facing themselves, like a staring contest. They were obviously tired of using their fists. I don’t think they knew I was there.
“He’s mine. I don’t want you near him,” I heard Sonia say.
Barbs threw back her head and laughed drily. “If he’s yours…what was he doing in my bed?”
“You seduced him, just like you seduced Austin.” Sonia spat the words out with venom. “Just like you seduced my father!”

I gasped. Chief Odeniran and Barbara? Oh my God…
“Oh please…your father wanted me. He came after me. Guys find me irresistible, deal with it!”
Was she actually boasting about it? I wondered. The thought dawned on me that I had become one of those guys. First Femi, then Austin, now Chief Odeniran… what else didn’t I know about Barbara Bode- Johnson?
“Guys find you cheap! Irresistible is in your imagination. Stay away from me, Barbara…or you’ll see the bitch in me!” Sonia said in a menacing voice.
“Get out of here! You’re crazy!” Barbs yelled
It was at this point I stepped into the room. Both ladies instantly quieted.
“I think it’s time to leave, Sonia.” I said as calmly as possible.
She glared at me, the pointed a finger in my face: “You belong to me…and if I can’t have you, no one else can.”
With that she stormed out of the room. We waited until we heard her slam the front door behind her before our heart was put at rest.
“I thought you left?” Barbs asked.
“I did. Then I came back.” I watched her. My earlier attraction had faded.
She managed a small smile, and then touched my face. “My hero. See how crazy my cousin is? I can’t believe she threatened you.”
I moved away from her. There was a lot about her I didn’t know, and it made me uncomfortable.
“What’s wrong?” She asked. Her face was swollen in the places Sonia had hit her.
“Why does Sonia hate you so much?” I asked.
“Sonia hates everyone. It’s her mental condition.”
“Is she really your cousin?” I asked.
“Why all these questions? Am I being interrogated?” She was frowning at me.
“Just answer me,” I said shortly.
She stood. “No. I’m going to take a bath. You can help if you want.”
I stood too, and held her by the arm. “Answer me, Barbs.”
“You are not my boyfriend! I don’t have to answer your questions!” She yelled. “Let go of me!”
“So, who’s your boyfriend? Femi or Chief Odeniran?” The question was out before I knew it.
“You son of a bitch!” She loosened herself from my grip and raised her hand to hit me. I was faster than her and stopped her hand in mid- air.
“The truth is bitter, huh?” I asked sarcastically.
She eyed me furiously. “Well, deal with this truth… Femi is on his way here. I wonder what he’ll think when I tell him what transpired between us.”
I glared at her, and noticed that my heart began to beat a little faster than normal.
“You’re bluffing.” I said.
“Try me.”
I stood, wondering if I was ready to take that risk.

Goth Girl: Isn’t There A Band-Aid for HeartBreak?

Confidential: The Goth Girl’s Diary: Is there no Band-aid for heartbreak?

 

 

 

You think you are recovering. You think things are looking up for you. You think you’re beginning to forget and you tell yourself that things are back to normal. You are back to normal.

Until you get that phone call; that unexpected SMS from the ex. Only, the Ex is just for show because they still very much own your heart. Your heart refuses to Ex-ile them even when your head and your lips do.

Your phone beeps and you see:
“I miss you.”
Your first instinct is to punch back a reply; like you used to before when his texts were what lightened your world.

And then you remember. You remember that things have changed; that you parted ways a few months ago. That you no longer have the liberty to spill how you feel.
It doesn’t stop the feelings from tumbling out; the memories you’ve been trying to bury by creating new ones, spill to the surface; raw as ever. Like it was only yesterday you said goodbye to the one you loved.
When will it stop hurting to think about him? When will you have the courage to look at his picture and not feel a pang of…something? Can these feelings die already!

But then again, how do you erase years of friendship, love, laughter, fights…memories? You wish they would disappear like they didn’t exist; and yet sometimes remembering those moments you shared is what keeps you sane.
You put up a smiling face for everyone so they don’t see how much it hurts inside, so they don’t think you’re weak. You make them see you’re happy without him. You don’t let them know that some nights you soak your pillows with tears of longing; that sometimes the short breaks you take in the toilet stall are actually timeouts to cry your heart out.
They say time heals all wounds but you’re beginning to think that some wounds never heal. No, you just get used them being there that at some point you become familiar with the pain it brings you.
You do not know if you want the wound of losing his love healed, or if you want to wrap the pain around you as a companion. Something to remind you that love is pain and that when you give all that you are to a particular someone, you never really get all of you back.
Your friends ask how you’re doing and you reply with the clichéd ‘fine’, your pain is yours to bear and not to share. You refuse to admit that when you remember him sometimes, you feel like an addict who’s going into withdrawal. How can you explain that there are times that the pain is so much that tears are a luxury?
Is there no Band-aid for heart break, you wonder? You know that heartbreaks have been overrated, every chick on the block claims to have been heartbroken because they like how it sounds when the words roll down their tongue but have they really? Have they felt like tearing out their hearts and squeezing to death every ounce of sentiment in it, just so that they can stop ‘feeling’ things? Have they?

 

 

 

Yours truly: Alone and heart wrenched; the ‘dark’ girl.