The Club Of God-Fearing Men- 10

She picked on the first ring, like she had been waiting for the call.
For an instant, Genesis was caught off-guard.
“Finally!” she spoke, almost breathless. “Hello, who’s this?”
“I…um…this is Genesis from…”
“Ah, Genesis! I need a favour from you immediately, please! Do you stay anywhere around Opebi?”
He didn’t understand what was going on, but he replied, “Erm…yeah. I stay somewhere around Berger.”
Her sigh of relief was audible. “Good. Please, I need you.”
“Excuse me, but do you know who you’re speaking with?” He asked, befuddled.
“Genesis, yeah? Stalker dude with the weird name from Grace Assembly and then the club?” her words came out sounding like full-stops. Like she was fighting to be cordial yet abrupt; like she was talking to a 911 operative.
“Well, yes…no. I mean…”
He was no stalker dammit.
“Which is it please?”
“Yes, I am that Genesis.”
“Please I need your help…just…come over, please. Here’s my address.”
She didn’t wait for him to respond as she rattled off the address.
“When you get to the gate, just call me,” she said, with a finality that he could not argue.
Genesis wanted to ask if she was crazy, if she knew what time of the night it was. He wanted to tell her he wasn’t coming.
Instead, he said okay and hung up.
He did not think about it as he hurried into his clothes. There was nothing to think about, his brain wasn’t going to process anything about the situation at this moment so he figured his best bet was to get to her place and figure this whole thing out.
As he drove out of his compound, it occurred to him that she hadn’t bothered to know how he would find his way to her place. What if he didn’t own a car?
It was Sunday night, the roads were free and in ten minutes, he arrived at her gate.
As soon as he called to inform her of his presence, he saw the gate parting to let him in. In the dimness of his car lights, he saw her. She was carrying something.
He watched her struggle with the gate with one hand, while using the other to support the bundle she was carrying.
He stepped out of the car towards her.
“Leave it. I’ll open it,” he said, taking over.
She nodded and he noticed she was perspiring. Her feet were bare, like she had rushed out not caring.
What was going on?
He drove in and closed the gate behind him. By the time he was out of the car, she was standing on the porch.
“What’s happening?” he asked.
“Come in. I need you to help me with the girls.”
She turned to enter the house and Genesis saw her stumble, instinctively he reached out to steady her and his hand brushed against her skin. He recoiled.
She was burning hot.
“Jesus! You’re burning up!” he exclaimed, stretching his hand to take the bundle, which turned out to be one of the girls, from her.
“I’ll be fine. She’s worse.”
And yes she was; the little girl’s body seemed to be prickling with heat.
“You’re all sick?” he asked, following her into the house.
“Talk later. I need to get a wet towel to calm her temperature down. Would you do that for me, please?”
Genesis thought she looked terrible, she was almost swaying on her feet and there were bags under her eyes.
“Sure. Where do I get water and the towel?”
She pushed a small pink towel into his free hand and pointed him in the direction of what he surmised was the guest bathroom.
“Just keep dabbing her body with it. I have to attend to Amber.”
He didn’t ask questions; instead, cradling the whimpering girl in his arms, he set to work.
He didn’t see her again for another thirty minutes, mostly because he was busy with the girl and he didn’t bother looking up to know her mother’s whereabouts.
“You’d be fine, honey,” he whispered, over again to the child. Sometimes he found himself muttering soothing words he couldn’t remember, words whose origin he couldn’t fathom.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Abbey’s voice startled him from behind.
“It’s better than before,” he replied, touching the girl’s neck.
“Okay. I need to give her Paracetamol. Give her to me.”
“You can’t handle any more tonight. Don’t worry, I’ll carry her.” With that he lifted the child and carried her back to the living room.
He laid her on the couch, placing the damp towel on her forehead.
“Which one are you?” he asked, hoping to get her to talk.
She sniffed, blinking. “Augusta,” her voice cracked with unshed tears.
“Beautiful name for a princess. Augusta, you will stop crying now, okay? By tomorrow morning, you would be up and running, promise.”
Her nod was barely visible.
Abbey knelt beside him, touching her fingertips to her daughter’s face.
“Star baby, mummy’s gonna give you your drugs now and then pray for you. And then you’re gonna sleep and wake up tomorrow, good as new, okay?”
Genesis glanced at her, admiring the cheerfulness and hope in her voice. One he was sure she didn’t feel.
“Mummy…I’m afraid,” her voice was small as she spoke.
“Oh my baby, afraid of what?” Abbey was sitting now, a tremor in her voice.
“What if…what if…I don’t wake up tomorrow?”
The sheer simplicity of her question tore at Genesis heart and without thinking he said;
“Of course you will wake up tomorrow. Or don’t you want to see my handsome face again? Remember I promised you a treat when you get well?”
His heart warmed at the semi-smile that formed at the corner of her mouth.
“Okay…but my sister will come with us too.” She said, still in her soft voice.
“Deal.” He gave her a small tap on her hand.
*******

The next time he checked the clock, it was half past midnight and that was when he had the opportunity to actually settle down with Abbey.
After administering her meds, Star had drifted to sleep almost immediately but Amber had needed more attention because she had been having difficulty breathing all night as a result of her asthma.
After some struggle, she had finally drifted to sleep and Genesis had helped tuck both girls in.
It was when he and Abbey both slumped on the couch in the living room that he realised how much time had gone by.
“You don’t know what you’ve done for me, Genesis,” Abbey began, running her fingers through her weave. “I owe you big.”
She looked tired, like she had just been through a marathon. Despite the chilly air in the living room, she still had beads of sweat formed on her nose. It was then he noticed she was still fully dressed in one of her customary turtle necks.
“You should take a cold bathe. Your temperature was a bit on the high side when I came in,” he said. It occurred to him that there was nothing suggestive about his suggestion. It was something he would say to an old friend. The thought of it made him smile inwardly.
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” she said.
“At least get rid of the turtleneck,” he said. “We don’t want you sick too.”
“Genesis, I said I’m fine, okay?” she snapped.
He nodded, standing. “I think I’ll take my leave now, ma’am.”
She shuffled to her feet too, her hand reaching out to touch him. “I’m sorry. I’m just a bit strung out. You’ve really been a God-send. It’s late, you should stay…”
Under different circumstances, Genesis would not have hesitated to take her up on her offer, but it crossed his mind that she was probably asking out of courtesy, not because she really wanted him there. After all, she had used him, what more did she need him for?

And so he shook his head.
“I should leave.” He didn’t wait for her to protest; instead he took long strides to the door, closing it softly behind him, he let the darkness embrace him.
To Be Continued…
Mimi A.

The Club Of God-Fearing Men – 9

If she found his suggestion strange, her face didn’t give it away. In fact she glossed over it in a manner that suggested she had warded off many an unwanted proposition without blinking an eye.
She chuckled lightly, saying; ‘I know this new place in Ikeja. Because it’s new, there aren’t so many people flooding it yet, so I think it’d be great if we take advantage of the serenity for this week at least. We can come up with something better later, yeah?”
Genesis was also an expert at hiding disappointment, so his response was a cross between cheerful and reserved. Too much of everything was no good; if he responded in an overly cheerful manner, she would know he was faking it.
He felt he had underestimated her. Just because she was small and playful didn’t mean she was stupid, he decided.
And when have you ever settled for stupid? A voice reminded him at the back of his mind. What he loved, was a challenge. So, dear Lola, be it inside the church or on the top of Mount Everest while fasting sef, I shall have my way when I’m ready.
Their plans were final. Friday by five-thirty, they would meet for their first Salvation class.
It was odd that by the time Genesis was waving her goodbye, he realised he was strangely looking forward to it.
That night, while he prepared for the new week; he found himself thinking about Abbey. It was unexpected because he hadn’t seen her since that night at the club and apart from the brief nostalgia he felt when he was in Grace Assembly earlier that day; she hadn’t entered his thoughts again.
What was it about her that made her pop up in his thoughts now and again? It couldn’t be physical beauty, because he had met many gorgeous women in his day.
In fact, he had once been literally blinded by a particular lady’s beauty. He could hardly look at her without blinking. Staring at her was difficult for him because hers was the kind of beauty that made you question everything, that made you wonder how God could claim to love everyone equally and end up bringing out the ‘fearfully made’ in some people and the ‘wonderfully made’ in others.
So no, it definitely wasn’t beauty that drew him to Abbey.
In his short playboy life, he had come to accept the fact that on some counts the Bible is right. Physical beauty is indeed vain. It is unnecessary in some cases. Only a shallow man, one who didn’t really understand life, would place physical beauty above all else when looking for a woman or a wife.
He had seen many ‘ugly’ of women end up with the most unexpected caliber of men. One time, a classmate of his had introduced him to his fiancée, a lady who had lost her left leg in an accident and had a metal prosthesis in its place.
When she walked, there was clumsiness in her steps that put Genesis off when he first met her. He avoided looking at her legs or in her face, afraid that she would see the irritation in his eyes or the question – why had his friend not picked someone better?
He didn’t really get to know her until his friend married her and moved to Oyo State for his new job. Something happened later that year that caused Genesis to bunk with them for a week. By the time he was leaving their house; he had nothing but praises for Nnedinma. Whenever he looked at her, he forgot about her disability and saw the beauty his friend had seen. And it shamed him that he hadn’t looked beyond the metal to see the human being with a beautiful heart.
Maybe he was doing the same with Abbey. He was refusing to see beyond the fact that she was a widow and had children. He was refusing to see that beyond that, she was human and could have something more to offer.
He sighed, turning in bed.
His friends usually accused him of overthinking things.
If they saw him now and heard his thoughts, they would remind him that this was all a game. Get in, get out and it was over. Besides who wants a woman with baggage? They were not supposed to get emotionally attached with their spirikoko conquests; they were not supposed to look at them as human beings with feelings. No, they were just conquests, pawns. And this was a game.
Just a game, Gen.
He needed to remind himself that. He needed to get his head straight and focus on nailing the smart, sexy Lola Ajibade.
But before then, he had to figure out what it was about Abbey that he couldn’t get out of his head. And maybe when he did, he could get her out of his head and focus on giving sweet Lola some salvation classes.
He roused himself from bed and began to search his trouser pockets, sure he would stumble across her card.
It was 10:54pm when he found it. Tucked somewhere between the pages of a newspaper. He must have slipped it there for safekeeping.
Way to go Gen.
And he thought he had disposed of it long ago.
He hadn’t looked at the card very well when she gave it to him because he hadn’t cared, after discovering she was a mother. But now he looked.
The card was a deep blue colour with her name embossed on it.
Abigael Olaitan.

Manager
Her number was written in small block letters at the edge.
Genesis glanced at the pearl-shaped clock hanging from his wall. It was exactly eleven o clock. It was too late to call anybody, especially someone who was practically a stranger to you.
Maybe it was the pressing need to get her off his mind that overshadowed all reasoning, or maybe it was something more profound that caused him to disregard his rational mind and make the call.
He dialed.

To Be Continued…

MIMI. A

The Club Of God- Fearing Men – 4

His belle turned out to be a visiting singer from some other church. Her name was Abbey.

He spent half the service fantasizing about her, the moment she mounted the auditorium, he let his mind wander.

So what did it matter that she was from another church? All it was going to take was for him to move base to whatever church she was attending. He thought singing made her sexy. Maybe she’d sing out a few lines for him when they were in his bed with her long legs wrapped around…

The moment she began to speak, not sing, Genesis knew that this one was one of God’s closest. He had heard many people preach and before long, he deciphered that they were wannabe motivational speakers. They ‘preached’ just to get the crowd excited, they lied to them that the moment they became Christians, the millions would roll in, say bye-bye to a life of troubles. Jesus will take all the troubles away.

And some desperados bought that lie hook line and sinker.

This woman spoke like she knew what she was talking about, not like she had read from some handbook and was only reciting what she had read. She spoke like one who had firsthand knowledge and experience of the God she served and that made her more appealing to Genesis.

“Sometimes we look at our lives as believers and we wonder why we are. So many questions; why, where, when, how, who. I remember a period I was going through dark times and I asked myself many questions. Why did God take interest in me? What was so special about me?” she paused for effect, then said; “and this song by Marvin Sapp came to me…He saw the best in me, when everyone else around could only see the worst in me.”

She didn’t sound corny. Or maybe he was just biased by her great shape or was it her voice?

“Listen to me good, people. God doesn’t care how messy your life is or how messed up you are, He’s provided a solution even before you knew it. He sees you through His eyes. All you need to do is accept the solution He provided and live your life free of guilt. Do you understand me?”

It was no surprise that she had the congregation spellbound, heck he was too.

When she began to sing, Genesis could have sworn he was transported to heaven, or somewhere close to it. He had come prepared for something but definitely not this. He had not prepared to actually enjoy himself. This was supposed to be a game; he was supposed to get in, find the woman and get out. He wasn’t supposed to mingle, wasn’t supposed to join these people in waving their hands like he actually cared, wasn’t supposed to move his body to the rhythm of her song.

And yet he was.

If not for the fact that the picture of her, naked except for thongs; was dancing across his mind, he would have sworn he had been converted by mistake. He imagined her singing in his ears, her tongue darting slowly across his earlobe.

It was with this picture plastered firmly in his mind that he approached her as soon as the service was over. Good thing his mother had built this insane confidence in him, he wasn’t afraid to approach a woman he found attractive especially if he thought he had a chance with her. It didn’t matter how many scriptures she spewed out, he had more than enough to match hers.

She was sitting in the black leather seat provided for her, somewhere in the Pastor’s corner; gulping water from a bottle.

“Hi,” she stopped as she saw him. Then she smiled, her eyes folded lightly in a cute way.

“Hello,” he put out his hand to sake hers. “I just wanted you to know that I was really blessed by your song today. It was so inspiring.”

He knew the right words to say to not sound carnal. People like this liked to hear how much their singing blessed you; it made them feel like they were doing God’s work for real.

“I’m glad, thank you. All glory to God.” She shook his hand, her grip was meaty.

“And I must say you have a lovely voice.”

Throw in a personal compliment that she’d have to acknowledge instead of shifting it to God.

She smiled again “Thank you. And what’s your name?”

“Genesis.” He paused, waiting for the why-did-your-parents-name-you-that reaction.

“Wow,” she looked at him then, her eyes taking in his features that she had possibly ignored before, probably wondering what was so spectacular about him to be named Genesis.

“I get that a lot,” he replied, bestowing her with a winning smile.

At that moment, two girls scurried up to them, ensconced in pony tails and frilly dresses.

“Mummy, see! Look what they gave us!”

Genesis eyes widened. What the blazes? Mu- what?

Both girls climbed into her laps, giggling and holding out their parcels. She laughed, pulling them to her.

“Girls, mummy would see it later, okay? Now, Mummy is talking. Oya greet this uncle.”

As the girls greeted him, Genesis thought how this resembled a story from a bad sitcom. How could this gorgeous no-excess fat woman, be a mother of not one but two girls? How could he not have foreseen that she was married? Or was she a single mother?

“Hello girls, are you twins?” it was a lame question. But all he could think of at the moment

“Everyone sees that,” girl 1 replied, with an attitude.

“Amber! Oya, go and wait for me with Auntie Joke, we’ll soon go home.” With that their mother urged them off her laps.

“Pretty,” his former enthusiasm had waned.

“With big mouths too. They just turned seven last month and it’s been like a whirlwind. So, Genesis, how long have you been attending Grace Assembly?”

He couldn’t concentrate on this discussion especially not while he was wondering if she was married or not.

If she was married, he would back out. As much as he liked games, Genesis respected the institution of marriage. He had watched his mother deal with his father’s infidelity for over a decade and it had torn at his heart.

“Why won’t you leave him, Mummy?” he asked, often.

“And then what? Marry again? Or be lonely for the rest of my life?”

“You deserve better.”

“I have better. Some women have husbands who beat them. Your father is a good man and he keeps me warm at night. He respects me; he doesn’t bring those women home.”

“And that’s enough for you?”

He couldn’t understand how a woman who had raised him to be fiercely confident could be this…this…meek and accepting.

“How’s your husband?” he blurted before he could stop himself. His eyes sought out her ring finger. Sure enough, it bore a gold band. How had he missed it? Had he been too taken with her looks to see what was so obvious?

A smile crept into her face and she said; “He’s with the Lord.”

Translation: he don kpai.

He wasn’t sure how to feel about this news.

“Oh. I’m sorry,” he stumbled on the words.

“Don’t be.” She glanced at her wrist and Genesis took the hint.

“I would love to talk more with you. Dinner, maybe? I know it’s unconventional and well…unexpected but I just think there’s a lot I can learn from you.” He was blabbing, he knew. But he couldn’t go ahead and say; ‘please I made a bet with friends, I think you’re hot and would like to take you to bed right this minute.’

She dug in her handbag and handed him a small card.

“You can reach me on any of those numbers. Nice meeting you Genesis.”

His eyes followed her bum discreetly as she walked away from him.

What now, Gen?

To Be Continued….

Mimi. A.

The Club Of God- Fearing Men- 3

Genesis was not exactly a connoisseur of churches but he had been to his fair share of them to know which was which. He had also grown up with a righteous, religious mother.

http://www.zazzle.com

He knew there were different kinds of churches. The body of Christ had long divided itself, he observed.

There was the come-as-you-are type of church, those ones were well populated with all kinds of people. They had the good, bad and ugly. They were the ones that cared about who wore what and who drove what kind of car to church. The pastor would usually be a thirty-ish man with sleek suits, a darn beautiful wife and permed hair. He would be the type who jumped up and down the pulpit and talked about how much God wanted you to be rich.

That was the kind of church he preferred generally. Whenever he chose to not spend Sundays at hoe, whenever he felt he needed a cleansing of some sort; he would find one come-as-you-are church and fix himself.

He had once dated a girl who attended one of those churches. Her name was Lois and she was crazy about marriage more than she was about him. He had been twenty four then, certainly not thinking about marriage, but of course she hadn’t known that. She dragged him to church one day and promptly introduced him to her pastor as her ‘missing rib’. Genesis had almost choked on suppressed laughter that day.

“Are you born again, young man?” the Pastor had asked.

“He goes to church, sir.” Lois had said before he could reply.

Again, Genesis hid a snicker. The pastor was asking the wrong person that question

‘Have you confessed Jesus with your mouth and believed Him in your heart?” the Pastor had asked, still solemn.

Yes, he wanted to say. Lois and I confessed together last night, in my bed. She confessed my name with her mouth and the orgasm I gave her almost made her heart explode. She literally got born again in my bed last night. So yes, that counts.

“Yes sir,” he said instead with a barely-straight face.

And that was it. The Pastor had given them their blessing. Genesis had walked out of the church that day, warning Lois never to ambush him that way and in fact, breaking up their relationship.

So yes, he had a lot of experience with CAYA churches.

The second type of church he had witnessed was the Republic Of Church Repellants. Those types could smell sin from afar. They would look at you with what he called the Eye of Judgment and write you off instantly by the way you look on the outside. They were the type that would out rightly quote the-soul-that-sinneth-shall-die.

These types he did not like because the men dressed like underfed herbalists with faded or jump-up trousers and sometimes had irreparable body odour. Their mouth odour was the type that came from too much fasting that it had become the permanent smell of their mouths. They believed going to heaven was something that required looking tattered on earth. He had met so many of them while he was in the University and they disgusted him with their overly loud praying habits, the many fires they set to their enemies and the way they pretended they did not masturbate in the privacy of their rooms.

The ladies on the other hand dressed like sadists, like they’d been told that wearing colorful dresses was a mortal sin. They dressed in pleated ash skirts that hid their buxom (if any) asses and turtleneck shirts without shapes. They dressed like they were mourning the Jesus who died instead of celebrating the one who lived.

http://www.religifake.com

His mother, he felt was a good example. He had never seen a woman so devoted to God and yet so fashionable. She had lived with their unbelieving father for many years and had managed to remain in the faith, as she often reminded Genesis and his brother. Truth be told he was looking for a woman like his mother. One who would be so dedicated to God and yet everything about her screamed romanticism. Someone that would be sexy but totally unaware of it. Someone who would look him in the face and throw his bullshit right back at him.

Not someone who faked spirikoko-ism, but someone who truly was.

That would be the true challenge.

So when he walked into the church he had decided on, for that Sunday, Genesis’ church sensors went up. The man who welcomed him at the door, smiling politely was dressed in a worthy outfit of jeans and a shirt.

Good, at least these ones didn’t consider wearing jeans a sin.

He smiled back at the brother and was passed on to the next usher; a lady this time, in smart jeans and a shirt too.

Apparently, it was jeans Sunday. He groaned within as he saw that most of the congregation was clad in jeans.

It must be a special program. He thought, taking his seat beside a lady whose head was bowed.

In the few seconds it took for him to survey his environment, he knew he had hit jackpot. This was it.

All he had to do was wait for the choir to come upstage or upaltar, or whatever they called it these days and he would know if the deal was sealed.

Time to settle into play acting. He closed his eyes and joined in the prayer frenzy with one eye open.

Just as he was getting restless that the prayer session was getting too long, he spotted her through the space in his hands.

She had just walked in, her right hand clutching her purse. She whispered something to an usher and continued walking; past him. On her head, was a baseball cap, matching her casual outfit to a tee.

He shifted his position to get a good look at her.

Darn, she was beautiful, he thought. Jackpot, baby.

His eyes followed her as she continued to the front. Her bum was obscured by the overlapping long shirt but he could tell from her hips that she had a fairly big bum.

But why she had to go all the way to the front, he had no idea. Was she one of those women that loved to sit up close to listen to the Pastor?

Oh well, he was about to find out.

To Be Continued…

Mimi .A.

The Club Of God-Fearing Men – 2

When he was six, Genesis had given his life to Christ before the congregation of children. It was his first attempt at that and he could faintly recall the childish excitement that had plowed through him as he stood among others, bowing his head and repeating those words after the children teacher.
He had taken the life back fifteen days later, or so he believed, when he had stolen a piece of meat from his father’s covered bowl of soup.
His father was not religious, it was his mother that took him and his brother to church every Sunday while his father sat at home, smoking cigars and reading the sports section of the papers.
He had once asked who named him Genesis and his mother had confessed that she had always wanted to name her children after significant books of the Bible. She had named him Genesis because he was the first; named his brother Matthew because he was the beginning of new things a.k.a new testament. She had admitted that if she had a girl, she’d have named her Ruth or Dorcas, the purple woman.
In a way, Genesis appreciated his name and the illusion it often created. People automatically assumed that he was a good person whenever he mentioned his name. After all, how could one answer a name as significant as Genesis and still be bad?
He had his first girlfriend when he was eleven; her name was Amarachi and she was two years older with breasts the size of agbalumo which he was awed by; her skin was the colour of one who barely escaped albinoism- yellowish red. She was the newest girl in class, older than most of them because her father was a contractor who moved around a lot, causing adverse effects on his family.
Genesis had known he was very good-looking early in life; his mother boasted about her sons every moment possible. She would stand them in front of the rectangular mirror in her room and tell them they were the most beautiful boys’ a mother could ever wish to have. She would proceed to point out the ‘beautiful’ parts of them. Their pointy nose, their nearly-pink lips, their straight legs, their full head of hair and their brains.
‘You are both very intelligent, do you know?’ she would say. ‘My children cannot be dummies. If anybody calls you dummy, tell them you are smart.’
By the time Genesis was eleven, he was a confident boy, comfortable in his skin. He knew what he was and nobody could take it away from him.
Till date, he mentally thanked his mother for building that confidence in them.
He gave his life for the third time when he was fifteen. The church his mother had been attending then had done an outdoor movie show where they played the movie ‘Burning Hell’.
The movie had been so vivid and fear-inducing that even those who had given their lives to Christ before, rushed out to give it again the moment the Pastor made an altar call.
Genesis couldn’t sleep for three days without hearing the sounds of those screams from hell. And each time he woke up, he begged God to forgive him and not throw him into hell.
The fear lasted exactly two weeks and he began to slip back into his old ways. The dreams stopped, the memory of the movie faded and he slowly but surely took his life back from Christ.
Since then he hadn’t given it again. He had sailed through university living the life of a man who liked his women, who knew what he had to offer and who wasn’t willing to relent on the fullness of life.
Genesis liked games and most of all, he was smart. That was another reason the ladies liked him. He was the one they came to for tutorials when exams were closing in.
The challenge of nailing a spiri-koko sister was one that sent adrenaline rushing through his veins. He was twenty-five, still virile and not looking to start a family so soon. Games like these, were what made life very interesting.
As he got ready for church that day, he replayed his plan in his head again.
He had not shared with his friends his strategy.
He would find the church, attend service there, twice at most and then miraculously ‘give’ his life to Christ in public glare. He would be touched by the sermon and kneel in reverence before God. His acting had to be top-notch to convince any potential prey.
A true spiri-koko woman, would not want to pass him up. He wasn’t just good looking; he had now confessed Christ in front of the church successfully denouncing his unbelieving ways. They would rejoice for him
She would no longer see the do- not- be unequally -yoked scripture as a barrier.
And he didn’t plan to target the choristers. Those ones with their cheap notice-me tactics, were all for the taking. One strike and they would fall without a challenge.
His plan was fool proof. He was sure that he won’t even need to approach the sisters with the abrasiveness of a hunter, they would come to him. Then he would pick his challenge.
He whistled to himself as he knotted his tie. First rule of the game; look responsible. A responsible unbeliever is more likely to get attention than a haphazardly dressed one.
‘I don set o,’ he called out, to Sly.
‘Which church you dey enter today?’ Sly emerged, dressed poorly, in Genesis opinion.
‘Hin dey Opebi side. I been see am as I dey come from work on Thursday,’ he opened his cupboard, took out a shirt and threw it at Sly. ‘Guy change that shirt, abeg. Why you dey fall my hand na? Na church you dey go, you wan make dem look you like pesin wey something dey worry abi?’
Sly shrugged, pulling off his own shirt. ‘De church wey I dey go, na so dem dey dress.’
‘That shirt no be am at all. E no follow abeg. Change am. Simple. And next time you wan come spend weekend for hia, carry beta cloth come.’
In two minutes, they were ready. While Sly slid into blue loafers that matched his jeans; Genesis wore his suede shoe that he kept for special occasions or work.
He had a good feeling about today, about this church. It might be the one.
His fingers tinkled with excitement as he locked the door behind them and set out.
Hello ladies, here I come.

To Be Continued.

Mimi. A. (C) 2015

The Club Of God-Fearing Men- 1

The alarm clock plus the continuous jabs to his back caused his eyes to peel open in a slow unhurried manner.

“Ahn ahn, wetin sef?” he croaked, rolling on his side.

“Seven ‘o’ clock don knack, dude. You don forget today na Sunday?”

The owner of the voice was Sly whose real name was Solomon.

“So, na im you wan break my back?” Genesis raised himself up, in slow movements. Everything about him was done without hurry. Nothing in life was worth the rush, he often told friends.

“Abeg your mouth dey smell. Na orijin you drink last night, abi?” Sly was hovering over the mattress in boxers and singlet, clutching a towel.

Genesis eyed him. “I no fit remember. I was wasted.”

“And you know say today na Sunday, you go party last night. Na so you wan go meet Jesus abi?”

“Why you dey shout? I tell you say I get hangover?”

Sly sighed, kicking the mattress. “We have a deal, dude. Don’t forget.”

Genesis moaned as he remembered the deal.

It had started out as a mini boys’ night out, like they usually did. Him, Sly, Tango and Chris were hanging out at the club that Friday, tossing back shots of tequila mixed with humour.

Then one of them, Chris, had said something about the latest girl he was into.

“One church babe like that o, the babe no dey even give me face,” he lamented. “And she fine die, see curves mehn!”

“Use your charms on her na. You na fine boy,” Sly urged.

“Omo, this babe is not smiling jor. I don try all my tricks, she no budge.”

“Then leave am. Wetin she get sef?” Tango said. He was tall with ripping muscles and stretch marks that crept out from under his sleeveless shirts.

“There’s something sexy about babes you can’t have,” Genesis chipped in, biting down on the lime that came with his drink. “Especially these real spirikoko church girls. Those ones that will dress simple without excess makeup and all that, and then when you look underneath that simple façade, there’s a hot chick waiting to be unleashed.”

“Exactly, bro.” Chris nodded.

“Are you saying church babes no dey get conji?” Tango asked, grinning.

“No, not every church babe, no be those ones wey dey rush hide under church when they don dey old and dey find God-fearing husband. Not that type. I mean deep, correct sistah-in-da-Lord.” Genesis continued.

“And na their own go sweet pass o!” Sly chuckled. He was dark with feral features that most women found irresistible.

“True!” the other three agreed.

“Anybody don nail that kain girl before? Tango?” Chris sked, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Why you call my name first eh?”

They laughed, they all knew that Tango was a relentless womanizer; his well-built chest and the fact that he often modeled, was an aphrodisiac for the women.

“Oya, make we do am like this. What is the thing church babes find most attractive?” Genesis asked.

“Jesus Christ?” Sly replied and they burst into laughter.

“Idiot. Check their prayer point and you will see the first thing there na God-fearing-man.” Genesis replied. “You see Caro my neighbor; on Friday night you go hear uh uh uh from her room and Sunday morning you go dey hear prayer of send me a God-fearing- husband. Even prostitutes dey find God-fearing man!” Genesis said.

“Oya in essence what are you saying?” Tango asked.

“I’m saying, Chris if you want to nail a spirikoko sister, you have to become what they want the most.”

“A God-fearing-man!” they recited.

And that was how it began. Their little joke had morphed into something like a challenge, four of them decided to take on new identities to nail the spirikoko women of their choice.

That was two weeks ago; since then they had been scouting for the right churches to attend.

The first one Genesis had attended had been disqualified the moment he met the usher at the door; a woman whose cleavages did more welcoming than the rest of her. His seatmate too, shoki-ed all the way through praise-worship and promptly dozed off as soon as the Pastor mounted the pulpit.

At the end of the service, the sister who was part of the first timers welcome committee had given him a hug that gave him an erection.

“We hope you enjoyed fellowshipping with us?” she said, with a bright smile.

“I sure did enjoy fellowshipping with them,” he replied, his eyes never leaving her heavy chest.

He did not return to that church, it would not have been much of a challenge to pick any lady in that church for their little game.

The second church he attended, located in the cul-de-sac in their street was a laugh. The first thing that had struck him was the lady who wore skirts so tight he thought they would split when she started rolling on the floor speaking in tongues.

He almost laughed at the display while watching it through his hands. Who said church wasn’t much fun?

This time when the service was over, a woman who looked a total contrast to the tight-skirt floor-roller, in her grey sweeping gown and headgear that covered her ears approached him with a semi-scowl.

Genesis had wondered if she could see into his soul and hated him already.

“Welcome brother. Are you born again?”

“Er…”he was taken aback, especially since he had planned to leave as soon as the service was over.

“You are not. I see generational curses following you, brother. Right there, hovering above your head is a black coffin. Brother, you need deliverance, you need help from God.”

“At least me I have coffin hanging over my head, you are lying inside a grave. Rubbish.” With that he hissed and exited the church.

Those were the two churches he had tried so far. His friends had spread out too; they didn’t want to concentrate on one church. So far, no body except Chris had found the right church to settle in.

Genesis sighed as he made his way to the bathroom; it was going to be another dramatic Sunday.

He hoped to have better luck at his next stop.

To Be Continued…

MIMI A 2015 ©