My Lagos Experience: James Bond

 

Before I came to Lagos, I was terrified of the place. I silently vowed to myself again and again that I would never have cause to stay in this city. Even if I did come, it would be for a short visit that would be spent indoors.
You see, sometimes man plans but God well…executes.

I traveled to Abeokuta sometime last year for a program, my trip was a connecting one. I had to stop by in Lagos first before proceeding to Abeokuta. We ended up in Lagos by ten pm.
Nothing scared me as much as Lagos at night. Do you know the stories I’ve heard? The merciless pickpockets? The thieving touts?

So, you see I had cause to fear. Before I got down from the bus, I had prepared myself; I emptied my pockets and my handbag. Emptied the contents into me(don’t ask).
In my mind, I was like; okay, so if they snatch the handbag, the least they’d see is an empty wallet and a novel.
Unfortunately my wallet was too large to be kept somewhere on me, so I took out my ATM card and my money and well…protected them. C’mon, a gal’s gotta protect her stuff eh?
You see, the thing about being a writer is that your imagination can sometimes run ahead of you. Most times even.

My imagination began to torment me, I imagined being waylaid by a group of touts, I imagined them searching me, I imagined them taking my darling phone and soon I began to shiver with fear. An irrational fear, I know.

There were so many people around I was overwhelmed. Everywhere I looked, I saw people. I mean, what the heck?
Somehow though I survived that one day and thought that would be my last encounter with Lagos, for a while at least.
But like I said, man plans…
Work took me to Lagos a few weeks ago. And trust me, it was far from temporary.
The thing is, by the time I arrived, I’d had plenty time to prepare myself mentally, an experience that made me understand that everything starts with the mind. The human mind is the battlefield, if you win the battle in your mind, be rest assured it’s won everywhere else.
That’s what I did. I sat my inner man down and laid the cards on the table:
A) Stay in your comfort zone and be useless.
B) Take the risk and move, be useful.

I chose B. My inner man chose B and we began to prepare. Before, whenever anyone spoke about Lagos and it’s ills, I would shake my head in derision and turn away. However as soon as I realized I was going there soon, I changed. My reply would be optimistic and upbeat when people asked how I would survive.
My mind came around slowly but surely and by the time I landed in Lagos I was ready.
The fear wasn’t entirely eradicated, yes but a new emotion had overshadowed it. Determination.

Photo Credits:smartercitieschallenge.wordpress.com

 

Weeks later, I am in Lagos and I marvel at the changes that have occurred in me.
You see, I have semi-bow legs. Not the well rounded type but the type that looks like they couldn’t decide whether to curve or be straight and they ended up somewhere between. Yes, that kind.
I love them.
Now, in the weeks I’ve been in Lagos, I am afraid I shall be losing the bow in my legs soon. Why, you ask?
Because I walk. Jeez, I walk like I’m going to heaven, like the gates are being closed and I need to make it in before they shut.
I walk darn fast. I walk with a purpose even though I’m just going to buy water. I think I have forgotten how to stroll, how to enjoy leisurely walks like I did in Abuja.
Why?
Because in Lagos, everyone is in a hurry. You do not wear heels and walk like your legs are porcelain. You will break, I tell you.
Once, I was walking on the road and someone pushed (quite rudely) past me and my first instinct was to turn and demand an apology. Trust me, if it were in Abuja, you would get that apology. But here, by the time I looked back, the perpetrator was still rushing forward like nothing had happened. Like it was normal.
And then it dawned on me. It was normal to them.
I won’t lie to you, these days I push past pedestrians without qualms. Even when something winces in me, urging me to turn and deliver an apology, I remind myself that the victim will not be expecting that apology therefore he/she has moved on.
Yes, Lagos is changing me.
I would wear heels and jump into moving Danfos.
I am my own James Bond. Lagos has taught me to jump into moving buses and still manage not to fall over. It has taught me to scale those high road demarcations on the express(what are they called? Curbs?), even in my skirts.
The first time I did it, I smiled as I landed. A certain adrenaline coursed through me that made me laugh to myself as I proceeded to cross the road. When last had I done that? I truly really felt like James Bond or maybe Steven Seagal, or Jackie Chan.

Perhaps you should try it some day. Don’t use those silly pedestrian bridges, cross the highway. Feel the wind in your ears as you dash between oncoming cars. Skip over the curb and run again.
It would remind you of when you were six when nothing mattered except play.

Of Valentine And Politics

Dear Reader,

I know it’s coming one day later than the fourteenth, but who says Valentine can only be celebrated in one day?

So, dear reader, happy Love-Day. I hope you spent enough  time with that special someone yesterday? I hope you whispered love notes in his/ her ears? I hope you called your Mama and Daddy up and told them how much they mean to you?

And most of all, I hope you showed love to those street kids, those orphans who have nobody?

Here’s my Valentine gift to you, a story I entered in for an ongoing  Valentine  competition. Please do read and follow the link below to comment on the story and give me a chance at winning.

I love you, dear trusted reader. And thank you in advance.

 

Remember, the rest of the story can be read when you click the link below, and don’t leave without dropping a comment, it is very important. Gracias.

 

********

 

He gripped the worn out chair that stood between them, his chest heaving from the explosive words he had just let loose.
‘What did you just say Bode?’ His girlfriend asked.
He debated whether to repeat his words, had he meant them? Was he ready to go down that road?
‘Bode, what did you say?’ Her voice was low, a dangerous sign and a stark contrast to the screaming girl she had been a few minutes ago.
‘You heard me,’ he said.
‘So, you’re saying if I don’t vote Buhari, we’re done? You really mean that?’
He was stoic, unblinking, belying the pounding in his heart. How had a simple political argument turned this sour?
‘So, cat got your tongue now? You know what; I’ll make it easy on you. We’re done right now. Why wait till tomorrow? This…is over.’
‘Nancy…’ he began, unsure of what to say.
‘Don’t. You just proved something to me. Our relationship isn’t worth anything to you.’
He watched her pick her bag from the seat and march towards the door, he wanted to reach out to her, to apologize and tell her that nothing mattered except her but he didn’t. He had already crossed the line and as the door banged behind her, he felt his heart rip to pieces.
What had he just done?
Why hadn’t he let sleeping dogs lie? The election had always been a sore topic between them especially since Nan had aligned herself with PDP, using her status as a journalist to plant herself behind the President even when Bode had told her he didn’t agree with it.
He had told her clearly that he didn’t support the President’s re-election and she had laughed about it, telling him she was just doing her job. And then she had gotten her PVC and it had moved from just-a-job to I-vote-Goodluck.
‘Why?’ He had asked consistently.
‘Why not?’ Had been her rejoinder. ‘He’s a candidate and I have a right to my vote.’
‘But, you are my girlfriend and I don’t support Jonathan,’ he said, kissing her. He knew how selfish and silly that sounded but he didn’t care.
She had thrown him a look of despair that ended the conversation.
And now this. He should have known when to leave things alone. He shouldn’t have pushed her.
Now, they had broken up one day to the election. Happy now, Bode?
**********************

She would not cry. She must not. She could not admit that he had hurt her that much. Absolutely not.
She blinked back tears as she lay in bed that night, a coldness enveloped her. She missed the warmth of his body. They were supposed to be together right now, cuddling and eating popcorn most likely.
Over.
She couldn’t believe it. Bode, had been her life for the two years they’d been together. Somehow, he had come to be a part of her; that extra limb she hadn’t known she needed and that she now couldn’t do without.
Maybe she should have backed out from this politics thing when he asked her to.

Read more here http://www.elsieisy.com/valentine-politics/

Lookout For Miss Right- 19

We dug in our heels facing each other; I could see the challenge in her eyes. How on earth did I manage to get myself involved with such women? I wondered.
“Get out, Jake,” she said in a quieter tone. “You have no right to judge me”
I looked at her wistfully, I no longer saw the beautiful girl who had caught my eye; instead I saw an unscrupulous woman who didn’t care who saw her nakedness. In my eyes, she was cheap and used.
Without another word, I walked out of the house, making up my mind never to return.

I drove to Oscar’s feeling like shit. The time was almost nine pm. I didn’t know how to face Femi, but I knew I had to tell him the truth instead of letting Barbs do it. She was bound to tell some lies. That wasn’t the only reason I wanted to tell my friend the truth… I knew it was the right thing to do. Femi and I had been friends for as long as I could remember, it was no use losing a friendship this beautiful over a woman who was undeserving of us both.

    I knocked on the door and Flores opened it; almost immediately, she flew into my arms, hugging me tightly. I don’t know why; but I suddenly felt like crying. Weird, right? But hey, I’m only human and I needed to ease myself of the burden on my heart. Believe it or not, these past days with Sonia and now, Barbara…had caused some sort of emotional strain for me. I had looked forward to this weekend with my friends to get my sanity back, instead I had blown it.
At that point, I knew what I needed the most were my friends. Finally, Flores let go of me and peered up at my face.
“Come in. Where have you been?” She held my arm and pulled me inside. “We’ve been calling! Why would you just go off like that?!”
She was behaving exactly like my mum would, but I didn’t mind. In fact, I think I craved it. I needed someone to talk some sense into me.
“I’m sorry,” I apologised.
That was when I noticed Oscar and Femi in the living room.
“Hey guys,” I said.
Oscar stood and walked up to me. He looked terrible; his eyes were red and swollen.
“I’m sorry, man. I shouldn’t have said that to you. I know you were just trying to help.” He said.
“It’s okay. I’m sorry, too.” I replied, placing a hand on his shoulder. My friend was in pain and I could see it. “Are you okay?”
“If you mean, ‘has he gotten over Abbey?’ Then, no.” Flores replied, a worried look on her face.
We all moved fully into the living room and sat down.
“He told us everything,” Femi said. “Stupid of him to end their engagement, even I know that.”
“It wasn’t my finest moment,” Oscar said. “But I don’t know what to do. I feel betrayed, like she played me.”
“Do you love her?” I asked.
“Like you wouldn’t believe,” He replied. “More than life itself. But is love enough?”
None of us had the answer to that question. The truth is; we all felt betrayed. Abbey had lied to our friend about something very serious. As much as we sympathised with her, we loved our friend more, and seeing him hurt was hurting us too.
At that moment, Femi’s phone rang and from the ensuing conversation, I knew it was Barbara. She had been bluffing after all. He hung up and I felt the guilt again.
“Who was that?” I asked.
“Barbs. She wants me to come over,” he replied.
“And?” I pressed.
He raised an eyebrow at me. “And…nothing. We have a major crisis here and I can’t leave. I’ll see her tomorrow.”
At that point, I admired Femi immensely. My friend wasn’t stupid after all. I, on the other hand, felt stupid. I had let myself get sucked in with Barbs’ antics. I knew now was the moment of truth.
I cleared my throat.
“I guess, now isn’t the right time to say this, but I really need to get it off my chest.” I began.
They all looked up at me.
I turned to Femi; “I owe you an apology.”
“For?” he asked.
“I was with Barbs this evening. After I left here I went to a restaurant to eat, I don’t know how she found me but she did. I’m not gonna say she’s responsible for whatever…”
“What happened, Jake? What did you guys do?” It was Flores who spoke this time, and I could hear the disappointment creeping into her voice.
“Nothing, technically.” I said, trying to avoid the accusing looks on my friends’ face.
“Technically?” Femi asked.
The whole story came pouring out of me; I didn’t leave any word of it out. I told them what Barbs’ told me about Sonia, and how the fight eventually ended.
When I was done, no one said a word. I could imagine what was going through their minds.
“C’mon you guys, I’d rather you crucify me than give me the silent treatment,” I said. “I’m sorry, I know I messed up.”
“Why do you think I didn’t want you to have anything to do with her in the first place?” Femi asked after a while. “You think it’s because I care about her? Ha! It’s you I’m worried about. It’s you I care about. I’ve always known my step- sister was loose. She doesn’t deserve you”
I was speechless. What could I say? My friend had just proved that he was smarter than I thought, possibly even smarter than me.
“I’m going to bed,” Oscar announced, standing.
“Don’t be tempted to commit suicide ooh,” Flores said.
He gave a small smile. “I’ll let you know if I’m thinking about it.”
“Everything is going to be alright,” Flores said, in her motherly voice. “We’re going to figure out a way to make this right.”
Oscar nodded and went into the bedroom. Femi retired next, after another apology from me. Flores and I were left alone, she didn’t talk to me. I could feel the disappointment emanating from her.
“Are you mad at me?” I asked sheepishly. I respected her immensely; I didn’t want to spoil her opinion of me.
“Should I be?” she asked.
I shrugged. “Maybe…I don’t know”
“Good.” She stood. “I’m going to bed. Good-night”
Without waiting for a reply, she went inside.
When I finally slept, it was a short and tumultuous sleep. I had a series of bad dreams which featured Sonia and Barbs. Just as I was beginning to enjoy my sleep, I was awoken by a push. My eyes flew open instantly.
Femi was looking down at me.
“Something wrong?” I asked groggily.
“It’s Abbey. Oscar just got a call that she’s been rushed to the hospital. We’re going with him.”

To be continued.

MIMI .A.