The Club Of God-fearing Men- 13

Silence reigned for a few seconds after he dropped by the bombshell. He waited, tense, sneaking a look at Lola’s face.
Suddenly the tension broke as she burst into laughter.
Genesis let a smile loose as he watched her throw her head back, tears peeking out of her eyelids.
‘You’re kidding right?’ she asked in-between bouts of uncontrolled laughter.
‘Er…what do you think?’ he was trying to read this woman. She didn’t seem like the average woman who got thrown off-balance by sweet talk.
‘I think you’re crazy or stupid. Or delusional.’ She cocked an eyebrow at him, ‘you’ve known me what – all of two weeks, yeah? And you’re already seeing vision? When I’m not mammy water or Miss World?’
He smiled then. He had to admit, her sense of humour was infectious.
‘So you don’t think you’re beautiful, is that it?’ he asked, still playing it cool.
‘On the contrary, I think I’m gorgeous. But I also don’t think anyone can possibly have visions about a woman he barely knows. Come on, all we’ve talked about is bible and church. So what about me is so adorable, apart from my nice ass?’ she wiggled her forefinger at him.
‘You. That. That amazing sense of humour. I admit you’ve got a nice ass…I mean, who won’t notice? He winked at her. ‘But you’ve got something more…you’re smart, you love God. You are hot. That combination is the bomb. I mean, what’s not to like?’
She laughed again, her right hand tucked beneath her chin as she looked at him.
‘I take exception to being called hot, by the way.’
‘Yes ma’am,’ he actually enjoyed listening to her talk, and she had taken his mind of Abbey at least.
‘Now that’s cleared…can we continue with our lesson?’
‘What’s cleared? You didn’t give me an answer, woman.’
‘An answer to what, Genesis? Don’t do this abeg, or…’
‘Or what?’
‘I might have to put in a request for a change…if we can’t make this work,’ it was the first time he had seen her looking so solemn.
‘Just one dinner, Lola. Let’s get to know each other better. You are, after all my new best friend, right?’
‘Genesis.’
‘Once. It’ll be fun, I promise. Look at me now, I’m Mister Fun Guy.’
‘Fine. One dinner. And it’s not a date. Now, can we go back to our lesson?’
‘Yes ma’am.’

****
‘The babe dey form like say my chest no impress her…’ Tango was saying.
They were at an isi ewu joint in the area; Chris had just been paid salary and had offered to take them out for goat head and drinks.
As usual, the topic of discussion was their recent escapades and how far they’d gone in their game.
‘Wait T, you showed her your chest?’ Chris asked, nursing a bottle of Star.
‘Accidentally,’ Tango grinned, showing off a set of shallow dimples.
‘Abeg how persin dey take show persin chest accidentally eh? Abeg enlighten us…I wan learn.’ Sly munched away on his meat.
‘She been come my house…’
‘Wait, your house already? Bros, you sure say that geh na true spirikoko?’ Genesis interrupted.
‘I don dey her case for three weeks now o. Besides, I had to lie that I was sick to get her to come,’ he winked.
‘Correct, guy!’ Sly hailed.
‘So di geh show o. Omo, I tink say she go carry food flask come, as per sick persin. Omo, babe carry big Bible come o. And me I been dey without shirt, dey reason say if she come, she go play mother and then one thing go lead to another na…chai, na dat day I know say Nollywood sabi lie! If na Desmond Elliot do dat kain tin, na so di geh go fall sharply like persin wey no get gravity. Mtchew.’
His friends burst into laughter at his words.
‘Na you be mumu for believing Nollywood,’ Genesis chuckled.
‘Na you sabi.’
‘Oya continue…’ Chris urged him.
‘Di babe no even look my chest twice. She just stand for door talk say make I wear shirt before she go enter.’
‘Erm… but wait o T. Wetin be the babe name? Shebi you’ve known her for three weeks? Why you still calling her ‘babe’?’ Genesis didn’t know why it suddenly rattled him the way Tango referred to the girl. He had done it himself several times before; referring to the girl he was sleeping with as something impersonal like ‘babe’ or ‘chic’. It helped him keep an emotional distance, no strings attached so that it was easier walking away when he needed to. He didn’t do pet names or endearments; he didn’t ‘baby’ anyone and let no one ‘baby’ him either. The moment a girl started calling him ‘baby’, honey or whatever; he knew it was time to call it quits. Once, a girl he had been sleeping with started referring to him as ‘Poo-pooey’ in her text messages and Genesis had immediately screened her number. What the heck was poo-pooey?
‘Since when did names matter?’ Tango was saying.
‘I dunno…I just think it sounds…disrespectful especially since you’ve known her er…’ Genesis paused, uncomfortable. What was he getting at sef?
‘G-man, you well so?’ Sly asked. ‘We don’t care about her name. It’s just a freaking game! When he’s gotten what he wants, he’s out. So why use her name when she’s not even his girlfriend?’
The logic made perfect sense, or it would have on another day. But today, it just didn’t sit well with Genesis.
‘I just think…what if she was your sister and…some guy referred to her like…that?’ he pressed.
‘Dude, you did not think about that when we were agreeing to nail a spiri-koko sister o. Why is it important now? Wetin dey do you sef? You get belle?’ Sly snickered.
‘Ah…I think Genesis has a point,’ Chris spoke up in his quiet baritone. ‘Even if it is a game, the least we could do is remember that these girls are human beings…it’s not too much to ask to use their names in a conversation. They’re not inanimate objects.’
‘Biko, pause with that your grammar, Chris. This thing is not a big deal. Shebi na my babe she be? Then I will call her whatever the heck I want. O pari.’ Tango’s eyes flared briefly as he spoke.
Genesis sighed. He couldn’t understand what he had been fussing about but to him it suddenly mattered. He couldn’t picture himself calling Lola anything other than her name. Maybe it was because they had taken a more personal approach. It wasn’t just like the normal chase, this was different.
Their table went into an uncomfortable silence after the semi- brawl and Genesis found himself looking at his friends in a new light.
He had known Tango for five years now and he remembered when he’d first met him; at a club, charming the girls off their feet. He had liked the guy’s magnetic pull. There were always ladies around him and he oozed a type of confidence that was attractive. And yet when Genesis got closer to him, he saw that that was all he was- body, muscles and looks. His confidence came from his looks, and all he talked about was girls.
Whenever Genesis wanted to have an intelligent conversation, he went to Chris. Chris, the quiet intellectual one. Ordinarily, he wasn’t Genesis type; he preferred the boisterous outgoing guys as friends, but he was drawn to Chris’ ingenuity.
They had met at NYSC camp, they had been in the same platoon and had both represented their platoon in the debate competition. That was where Genesis had gotten interested in Chris and he had not known the relationship would last this long.
Sly was the oldest of Chris’ friends. They had gone to school together, studied the same course, but where Genesis was genuinely interested in engineering, Sly preferred clubbing.
It occurred to Genesis as he sat with them, gulping down drinks and exchanging small chit-chat, that something was going on in him that he could not explain. Whether he liked it or not, he was yet to find out.

The Club Of God-Fearing Men- 10

She picked on the first ring, like she had been waiting for the call.
For an instant, Genesis was caught off-guard.
“Finally!” she spoke, almost breathless. “Hello, who’s this?”
“I…um…this is Genesis from…”
“Ah, Genesis! I need a favour from you immediately, please! Do you stay anywhere around Opebi?”
He didn’t understand what was going on, but he replied, “Erm…yeah. I stay somewhere around Berger.”
Her sigh of relief was audible. “Good. Please, I need you.”
“Excuse me, but do you know who you’re speaking with?” He asked, befuddled.
“Genesis, yeah? Stalker dude with the weird name from Grace Assembly and then the club?” her words came out sounding like full-stops. Like she was fighting to be cordial yet abrupt; like she was talking to a 911 operative.
“Well, yes…no. I mean…”
He was no stalker dammit.
“Which is it please?”
“Yes, I am that Genesis.”
“Please I need your help…just…come over, please. Here’s my address.”
She didn’t wait for him to respond as she rattled off the address.
“When you get to the gate, just call me,” she said, with a finality that he could not argue.
Genesis wanted to ask if she was crazy, if she knew what time of the night it was. He wanted to tell her he wasn’t coming.
Instead, he said okay and hung up.
He did not think about it as he hurried into his clothes. There was nothing to think about, his brain wasn’t going to process anything about the situation at this moment so he figured his best bet was to get to her place and figure this whole thing out.
As he drove out of his compound, it occurred to him that she hadn’t bothered to know how he would find his way to her place. What if he didn’t own a car?
It was Sunday night, the roads were free and in ten minutes, he arrived at her gate.
As soon as he called to inform her of his presence, he saw the gate parting to let him in. In the dimness of his car lights, he saw her. She was carrying something.
He watched her struggle with the gate with one hand, while using the other to support the bundle she was carrying.
He stepped out of the car towards her.
“Leave it. I’ll open it,” he said, taking over.
She nodded and he noticed she was perspiring. Her feet were bare, like she had rushed out not caring.
What was going on?
He drove in and closed the gate behind him. By the time he was out of the car, she was standing on the porch.
“What’s happening?” he asked.
“Come in. I need you to help me with the girls.”
She turned to enter the house and Genesis saw her stumble, instinctively he reached out to steady her and his hand brushed against her skin. He recoiled.
She was burning hot.
“Jesus! You’re burning up!” he exclaimed, stretching his hand to take the bundle, which turned out to be one of the girls, from her.
“I’ll be fine. She’s worse.”
And yes she was; the little girl’s body seemed to be prickling with heat.
“You’re all sick?” he asked, following her into the house.
“Talk later. I need to get a wet towel to calm her temperature down. Would you do that for me, please?”
Genesis thought she looked terrible, she was almost swaying on her feet and there were bags under her eyes.
“Sure. Where do I get water and the towel?”
She pushed a small pink towel into his free hand and pointed him in the direction of what he surmised was the guest bathroom.
“Just keep dabbing her body with it. I have to attend to Amber.”
He didn’t ask questions; instead, cradling the whimpering girl in his arms, he set to work.
He didn’t see her again for another thirty minutes, mostly because he was busy with the girl and he didn’t bother looking up to know her mother’s whereabouts.
“You’d be fine, honey,” he whispered, over again to the child. Sometimes he found himself muttering soothing words he couldn’t remember, words whose origin he couldn’t fathom.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Abbey’s voice startled him from behind.
“It’s better than before,” he replied, touching the girl’s neck.
“Okay. I need to give her Paracetamol. Give her to me.”
“You can’t handle any more tonight. Don’t worry, I’ll carry her.” With that he lifted the child and carried her back to the living room.
He laid her on the couch, placing the damp towel on her forehead.
“Which one are you?” he asked, hoping to get her to talk.
She sniffed, blinking. “Augusta,” her voice cracked with unshed tears.
“Beautiful name for a princess. Augusta, you will stop crying now, okay? By tomorrow morning, you would be up and running, promise.”
Her nod was barely visible.
Abbey knelt beside him, touching her fingertips to her daughter’s face.
“Star baby, mummy’s gonna give you your drugs now and then pray for you. And then you’re gonna sleep and wake up tomorrow, good as new, okay?”
Genesis glanced at her, admiring the cheerfulness and hope in her voice. One he was sure she didn’t feel.
“Mummy…I’m afraid,” her voice was small as she spoke.
“Oh my baby, afraid of what?” Abbey was sitting now, a tremor in her voice.
“What if…what if…I don’t wake up tomorrow?”
The sheer simplicity of her question tore at Genesis heart and without thinking he said;
“Of course you will wake up tomorrow. Or don’t you want to see my handsome face again? Remember I promised you a treat when you get well?”
His heart warmed at the semi-smile that formed at the corner of her mouth.
“Okay…but my sister will come with us too.” She said, still in her soft voice.
“Deal.” He gave her a small tap on her hand.
*******

The next time he checked the clock, it was half past midnight and that was when he had the opportunity to actually settle down with Abbey.
After administering her meds, Star had drifted to sleep almost immediately but Amber had needed more attention because she had been having difficulty breathing all night as a result of her asthma.
After some struggle, she had finally drifted to sleep and Genesis had helped tuck both girls in.
It was when he and Abbey both slumped on the couch in the living room that he realised how much time had gone by.
“You don’t know what you’ve done for me, Genesis,” Abbey began, running her fingers through her weave. “I owe you big.”
She looked tired, like she had just been through a marathon. Despite the chilly air in the living room, she still had beads of sweat formed on her nose. It was then he noticed she was still fully dressed in one of her customary turtle necks.
“You should take a cold bathe. Your temperature was a bit on the high side when I came in,” he said. It occurred to him that there was nothing suggestive about his suggestion. It was something he would say to an old friend. The thought of it made him smile inwardly.
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” she said.
“At least get rid of the turtleneck,” he said. “We don’t want you sick too.”
“Genesis, I said I’m fine, okay?” she snapped.
He nodded, standing. “I think I’ll take my leave now, ma’am.”
She shuffled to her feet too, her hand reaching out to touch him. “I’m sorry. I’m just a bit strung out. You’ve really been a God-send. It’s late, you should stay…”
Under different circumstances, Genesis would not have hesitated to take her up on her offer, but it crossed his mind that she was probably asking out of courtesy, not because she really wanted him there. After all, she had used him, what more did she need him for?

And so he shook his head.
“I should leave.” He didn’t wait for her to protest; instead he took long strides to the door, closing it softly behind him, he let the darkness embrace him.
To Be Continued…
Mimi A.

The Club Of God-Fearing Men- 8

Even though he knew he was fake-giving-his-life-to-Christ, Genesis waited for that feeling; the elation that was supposed to come after reciting those words in front of the congregation.
‘…I believe in my heart and confess with my mouth…’ the words sounded ordinary in his mouth, like sawdust. Tasteless, devoid of drama. There was no rushing wind and certainly no tongues of fire like the days of the apostles.
Apart from him there were about five other people taking the same step and as soon as they finished the prayer, the ushers led them to the back of the church while the rest of the congregation clapped like they had just won the lottery. Well; to some, salvation would be considered winning the lottery.
Genesis grimaced inwardly. The things he had to do to make life more interesting, sheesh.
The back room they took them to was air-conditioned with white plastic chairs arranged vertically.
‘Welcome to the body of Christ,’ the lanky man with his well-ironed trouser said, cracking a small smile.
Genesis was more interested in his partner; a pretty lady in a grey skirt and a winning smile.
‘The Bible says there is rejoicing in heaven when one sinner comes to Christ…so believe me, there’s a party going on in heaven now, for your sakes.’ The man continued. ‘My name is Olatunji and I am in charge of the follow-up team. Since you have taken this decision, we know you would need some pointers and you would have questions on what to do next. We wouldn’t want to leave you clueless… so beginning today you would each be assigned personal follow-up mentors. Their duty is to look after your spiritual welfare for a period of twelve weeks after which we can be sure that to an extent you’re ready to stand on your own. During these eight weeks, they would tutor you in the necessary basics of Christianity and salvation. Their job is to keep you saved with the help of the Holy Spirit. They are also on ground to answer whatever questions you have and make you as comfortable as possible in the body of Christ. See them as your personal mentors and the next twelve weeks is like a crash course in Christianity, they would observe your spiritual welfare and make recommendations if necessary. Your follow-up mentor should be your second best friend starting from today.’
Olatunji spoke in a mechanical monologue that made Genesis wonder how many times he’d made that speech.
‘So we’d be passing a form around, we need you to fill that form and then we can proceed with the pairings.’ It was Ms. Pretty who spoke now.
‘The reason for this is that we want you to take the decision you took today serious. This might be too much for you to take in now, you might feel ambushed…’
Damn right I do, Genesis wanted to say as he stared at the form given to him.
‘But really the idea here is to make you realise that this is the best decision you’d ever make in your entire life. The next three months would be to open your eyes to the wonders and beauty of Christianity,’ Ms. Pretty continued.
‘Your mentor would be your prayer partner, teacher, study partner. Basically the grace upon their lives should rub off on you. As much as it is inn their power, they’re to help you grow this period. According to Apostle Paul in First Peter 2:2 as new born babes desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby.’ Olatunji said.
Genesis sighed. These people sounded so damn organised it scared him. He didn’t need any mentor shadowing his every move for three frigging months! He hoped he hadn’t got more than he bargained for. He had to find a way out of this mess.
‘Please if you have any questions, feel free to ask.’ Ms Pretty said.
There were no questions except for Genesis unspoken question; how do I get the heck outta here?
‘Good. So I assume we understand each other. Thank you so very much for taking this step. We are so happy to have you with us. Now, to the pairings.’
Genesis had already made up his mind to not continue with the mentorship crap. He didn’t need no mentoring, he didn’t even need Jesus.
‘Please, brother Genesis indicate by waving your hand,’ Olatunji called.
The ‘brother’ before his name made Genesis want to puke. He waved his right hand, bored.
‘Ah, there you are. Sister Lola, that’s your convert. You know what to do.’
Genesis glanced around, wondering who Sister Lola was.
When he saw her, he knew he had certainly hit jackpot this time around.

*****
Lola Ajibade turned out to be a delightful pixie of a woman. Her Anita Baker haircut made her hot in a celebrity kind of way and to add to that, she had hips to die for, complemented by her rotund ass.
Three minutes into their conversation, she told Genesis to drop the ‘sister’ tag and simply call her name.
‘I hope by the time this mentorship is over, you’d find every reason to remain in the body of Christ,’ she said, shaking his hand.
Her palm was soft and tiny in his.
‘I sure will,’ he said, giving her a once-over.
He was thinking how small she was, how small she would be beneath him. He noticed her lips as she spoke, mainly because she bit them unconsciously. They were the pouty kind, like they craved a thorough massage by a fellow lip.
Her breasts were not impressive in size, barely jutting out beneath her plaid shirt, but he surmised that her ass more than made up for it. You could never have it all, he had come to find out.
Women came in packages and no package is the perfect ten.
‘So, where do we start?’ she had bright buttony eyes. ‘Um… introductions. I’m Lola Ajibade and I am Yoruba from Osun state. I’ve been with Grace Assembly for four years and it’s been amazing.’
‘Well, I’m Genesis Uba and er…I am an engineer.’
She gave a small laugh, ‘that’s all you have to share? Or you want to take it one step at a time?’
‘One step at a time, please.’
‘Oh…cool. Well, we have three months to get to know each other so no hurry.’ She rubbed her palms together. ‘We have to come up with a schedule. I’m supposed to be meeting with you thrice a week, to have our lessons. I am a journalist so my time is a bit flexible…what days of the week would be convenient for you?’
‘Lessons?’
‘Yes. We call it Salvation Classes, only this time you have a personal teacher in me,’ she tapped him playfully. ‘Don’t look so sad. I promise I’m not that bad.’
He couldn’t help laughing. If only she knew he was thinking in double entendres.
‘Erm…let’s see. How long would these classes take every time we meet?’ he asked, maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all.
‘An hour thirty minutes max. We understand that you have other things to do.’
‘I like that you are very understanding.’
She eyed him, ‘why do I feel like you’re making fun of…me?’
‘Ah, make fun of my second best friend? Far be it from me, sister.’ But there was a twinkle in his eyes as he spoke.
‘Okay, drop the sister thing before I start calling you brother Genesis. Ehen, what kind of name is that sef? No offense oh.’
‘I was wondering when you’d ask,’ he smiled. ‘Let’s just say my mum was a big fan of the first books of the testaments.’
‘Seriously? I should meet her, I love her already!’
Genesis laughed again. Service had ended and they were standing outside the church premises, talking.
‘Well, now you know.’
‘Okay, let’s conclude on our classes. What time would suit you, Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays?’
In his mind’s eye, Genesis saw his weekends over the next three months being given a grand funeral. Salvation classes from Friday through Sunday? Kill me already!
Well, he would have to make some sacrifices if he wanted to complete his spiri-koko quest. Maybe he could give her a few salvation classes herself. Now that didn’t sound so bad.
‘That’s fine. We’d work around it,’ he replied eventually.
‘Venue?’
‘Eh?’
‘Like, where would suit you best? We could use the church premises or a library or somewhere we can just sit and study.’
‘Or my house,’ he said, his face set to not give away the sinful thoughts in his heart.

To Be Continued…

Mimi A.

The Club Of God- Fearing Men- 5

Genesis week was usually busy; living in Lagos had taught him to be quick on his feet. He left home most mornings before 6 am so he could make it to his office on or before 8 am and even though he usually closed work by 5pm, he didn’t usually get home till sometime around 7pm depending on what day of the week it was.

So it was little wonder that during the week he had little or no time to socialize, well, apart from flirting with the ladies that worked with him, people whom he tired of seeing their work-hardened faces every day, he had no other means to sate his natural affinity to women.

Which was why he looked forward to weekends; Fridays were usually eventful for him. He and the boys hung out at any club they chose; drinking, talking, laughing and he usually left the club with a woman on his arm and if she was lucky, in his bed.

Some of them made it to his arm, but ended up in the restroom stall or the back of his car, depending on how drunk she was. He was a man who liked to be in control; as much as he liked the women, picking up women when drunk wasn’t his thing.

In fact, getting drunk or stoned wasn’t his thing, generally. That was more Tango’s thing. He wondered how his friend still kept his body fit for the modeling jobs he did.

This Friday, they had agreed to try out a club/bar/whatchamacallit. Among the quartet; only he and Chris had cars of their own. Tango didn’t like driving, he said he preferred the adrenaline rush that came from jumping into Danfo buses and he was more likely to meet women in transit than from the comfort of a private car. They would think he was a serial killer or something if he tried picking them up; yes, his body could be bad news like that.

Genesis often wondered if Tango’s mum had birthed him through the right part of her body, because the things he said and did were like he was from another planet.

Sly, on the other hand, was saving up to buy a land which according to him, was on the top of his priority list.

Apparently, he had a phobia for living in rented houses because of what he and his family had suffered when he was still little. His one obsession was to become a landlord soon.

“Being a landlord can mean just owning your land. That’s the first step. If I have my own land now, I can open canopy there and be sleeping under and nobody will disturb me. That option is still better than living in some ugly, hungry pot-bellied man’s house.”

They arrived at the bar in twos, Genesis picked up Sly from Maryland on his way from work and Chris picked Tango up from his latest modeling company. They had agreed to do a small briefing on Operation Nail a Spirikoko Woman that evening.

Genesis wasn’t much looking forward to it mostly because he hadn’t yet found the woman, he had tossed Abbey’s card inside one of his jacket pockets when he got home from church that Sunday.

He had made up his mind, she was no-go area. A widow and a single mum? C’mon, he wasn’t looking to start a charity organization here. He’d find someone else; he had after all seen some prospective women at that Grace Assembly church on Sunday. Abbey could go to hell, for all he cared.

They arrived at the club early. It was just 9pm and on a Friday night, the club was supposed to be vomiting human beings like a volcanic eruption.

Genesis loved it. The mesh of bodies grinding against each other on the dance floor, the opportunities to grope and cop a feel without being labeled a pervert. Heck, he’d had women grab his ass on the dance floor and pretend it was a mistake; baby, please make that mistake often, he always thought.

Tonight though, he took one look at the setup of the club and knew this was not a regular club.

He turned to Chris since he had been the one to suggest this place; “Guy wetin be dis na? Dem get live band for hia!”

“That’s the beauty, Gen.” Chris was a teacher in a secondary school and avoided speaking pidgin so much because he said it affected him while teaching at school. He knew an English teacher who had been fired because she slipped in pidgin while she taught her class. “No be every time pesin go listen to pirated music. Trust me, their bar here na wa.”

Genesis sighed. Of all his friends, Chris was the softest and most loveable. He had a big heart that Genesis often envied. While the rest of them ran after women just for the heck of it, Chris actually cared. Women are to be treated like treasure chests, he often said in a melancholic tone.

It was no surprise, he had five sisters. He was probably hoping that if he treated the girls he met nicely, some other dude would do the same for his sisters.

“Una dey dull pesin. Abeg I need a drink,” with that Tango pushed past them and headed towards the bar.

“If we needed live band eh, Chris, we for go church. Dem plenty for dia.” Sly punched him playfully and followed behind Tango.

“Drink?” Chris asked Genesis as they scouted around for seats.

“Vodka and juice. Make I go find table,” both men parted ways.

Genesis particularly liked the twirling multi-coloured lights. He also liked the fact that the club had an outdoor setting. The platform for the live band was sheltered in a small brown alcove with dazzling lights. The dance floor was a few paces away from the platform.

He patted his pocket as he settled into a table with four chairs. Friday nights were usually so crazy that if you were too drunk or too careless, they’d pick everything off you; your phone, wallet, ATM cards, every damn thing.

His first attempt at clubbing had been like that, he had gone with an older friend who had promised to pay for everything. The friend’s pocket had been picked while two girls draped themselves over him, with boobs ogling at him. Genesis remembered sneaking out of the club when he realized what had happened.

“Oya, hafar?” his friends had returned, each nursing a drink. Chris handed a glass to him and Genesis downed it, grateful for the chill as it travelled down his throat.

“Any luck?” Sly continued. “I don see church, see babe join sef.”

Genesis listened with rapt attention as Sly recounted his escapades. Genesis could tell that Sly’s church tilted more towards RCR because the girl that had caught Sly’s attention didn’t wear trousers and had her hair bundled under a heavy scarf.

“Her legs na die! Jesus! As we dey talk, I just dey imagine say I dey use tongue dey romance di leg.”

As he said that, a quick picture of Abbey flashed into Genesis’ mind’s eye and he sighed, involuntarily.

“So, wetin be di plan?” Tango asked.

“I dey go di church next Sunday na. From dia we go see.”

Chris was next. He was still going after the girl that had caught his attention before. For him, it was no game. Yes, he wanted to conquer but there was something more.

“There’s something about her that just…I no even know sef.” He shook his head, bewildered.

Tango was apparently finding it difficult to blend into a church. Churches irritated him, he said. Coupled with the fact that his body was quite er…obvious, girls gravitated towards him more often than not.

“How I wan take find spirikoko babe when all of dem dey hustle for me?” he lamented. “Even in church!”

“Look for di one wey no dey hustle you. Na she be real spirikoko,” Sly advised.

“What if dem no dey? What if…they all want some of this?” he puffed his chest out in a comical way.

His friends laughed.

“One go dey wey no want. And even if she want, she no go dey follow you like monkey.” Genesis said.

“Oya, talk ya own. You don find church abi babe?” Tango asked.

Genesis paused. He had found the church, right? The babe nko?

As he opened his mouth to tell them no, he hadn’t found the woman yet, he spotted her.

She had just entered and stood in the walkway, beside a man who had earrings on. She looked a little different from when he saw her on Sunday, she was clad in jeans and t-shirt and sneakers.

What the heck was she doing here?

“Guy, wetin you dey look?” Sly nudged him.

His mouth opened and closed again, the words didn’t come out.

Whoever had said he would forget about Abbey the singer so soon had been lying. She was here, in the flesh. At the club!

To Be Continued…

Mimi A.

The Club Of God-Fearing Men – 2

When he was six, Genesis had given his life to Christ before the congregation of children. It was his first attempt at that and he could faintly recall the childish excitement that had plowed through him as he stood among others, bowing his head and repeating those words after the children teacher.
He had taken the life back fifteen days later, or so he believed, when he had stolen a piece of meat from his father’s covered bowl of soup.
His father was not religious, it was his mother that took him and his brother to church every Sunday while his father sat at home, smoking cigars and reading the sports section of the papers.
He had once asked who named him Genesis and his mother had confessed that she had always wanted to name her children after significant books of the Bible. She had named him Genesis because he was the first; named his brother Matthew because he was the beginning of new things a.k.a new testament. She had admitted that if she had a girl, she’d have named her Ruth or Dorcas, the purple woman.
In a way, Genesis appreciated his name and the illusion it often created. People automatically assumed that he was a good person whenever he mentioned his name. After all, how could one answer a name as significant as Genesis and still be bad?
He had his first girlfriend when he was eleven; her name was Amarachi and she was two years older with breasts the size of agbalumo which he was awed by; her skin was the colour of one who barely escaped albinoism- yellowish red. She was the newest girl in class, older than most of them because her father was a contractor who moved around a lot, causing adverse effects on his family.
Genesis had known he was very good-looking early in life; his mother boasted about her sons every moment possible. She would stand them in front of the rectangular mirror in her room and tell them they were the most beautiful boys’ a mother could ever wish to have. She would proceed to point out the ‘beautiful’ parts of them. Their pointy nose, their nearly-pink lips, their straight legs, their full head of hair and their brains.
‘You are both very intelligent, do you know?’ she would say. ‘My children cannot be dummies. If anybody calls you dummy, tell them you are smart.’
By the time Genesis was eleven, he was a confident boy, comfortable in his skin. He knew what he was and nobody could take it away from him.
Till date, he mentally thanked his mother for building that confidence in them.
He gave his life for the third time when he was fifteen. The church his mother had been attending then had done an outdoor movie show where they played the movie ‘Burning Hell’.
The movie had been so vivid and fear-inducing that even those who had given their lives to Christ before, rushed out to give it again the moment the Pastor made an altar call.
Genesis couldn’t sleep for three days without hearing the sounds of those screams from hell. And each time he woke up, he begged God to forgive him and not throw him into hell.
The fear lasted exactly two weeks and he began to slip back into his old ways. The dreams stopped, the memory of the movie faded and he slowly but surely took his life back from Christ.
Since then he hadn’t given it again. He had sailed through university living the life of a man who liked his women, who knew what he had to offer and who wasn’t willing to relent on the fullness of life.
Genesis liked games and most of all, he was smart. That was another reason the ladies liked him. He was the one they came to for tutorials when exams were closing in.
The challenge of nailing a spiri-koko sister was one that sent adrenaline rushing through his veins. He was twenty-five, still virile and not looking to start a family so soon. Games like these, were what made life very interesting.
As he got ready for church that day, he replayed his plan in his head again.
He had not shared with his friends his strategy.
He would find the church, attend service there, twice at most and then miraculously ‘give’ his life to Christ in public glare. He would be touched by the sermon and kneel in reverence before God. His acting had to be top-notch to convince any potential prey.
A true spiri-koko woman, would not want to pass him up. He wasn’t just good looking; he had now confessed Christ in front of the church successfully denouncing his unbelieving ways. They would rejoice for him
She would no longer see the do- not- be unequally -yoked scripture as a barrier.
And he didn’t plan to target the choristers. Those ones with their cheap notice-me tactics, were all for the taking. One strike and they would fall without a challenge.
His plan was fool proof. He was sure that he won’t even need to approach the sisters with the abrasiveness of a hunter, they would come to him. Then he would pick his challenge.
He whistled to himself as he knotted his tie. First rule of the game; look responsible. A responsible unbeliever is more likely to get attention than a haphazardly dressed one.
‘I don set o,’ he called out, to Sly.
‘Which church you dey enter today?’ Sly emerged, dressed poorly, in Genesis opinion.
‘Hin dey Opebi side. I been see am as I dey come from work on Thursday,’ he opened his cupboard, took out a shirt and threw it at Sly. ‘Guy change that shirt, abeg. Why you dey fall my hand na? Na church you dey go, you wan make dem look you like pesin wey something dey worry abi?’
Sly shrugged, pulling off his own shirt. ‘De church wey I dey go, na so dem dey dress.’
‘That shirt no be am at all. E no follow abeg. Change am. Simple. And next time you wan come spend weekend for hia, carry beta cloth come.’
In two minutes, they were ready. While Sly slid into blue loafers that matched his jeans; Genesis wore his suede shoe that he kept for special occasions or work.
He had a good feeling about today, about this church. It might be the one.
His fingers tinkled with excitement as he locked the door behind them and set out.
Hello ladies, here I come.

To Be Continued.

Mimi. A. (C) 2015

Lookout For Miss Right – 8

Immediately I wished I hadn’t picked the call. Sleep disappeared from my eyes.
“Jake, where are you?” She asked without any preamble.
I hesitated. “Why are you asking?”
“You were a naughty boy last night, you know.”
Almost immediately I remembered Chief Odeniran’s threat and my promise to avoid Sonia at all costs.
“You there, Jake?”
“I’m a bit busy right now Sonia. Sorry about last night but I had to go to work this morning.”
“Well I’ve forgiven you already but I need your help.”
I groaned inwardly. What could she want this time?
“I’m sorry but I didn’t know who else to call.” She continued.
“What is it?” I let the impatience show in my voice.
“I’m stuck somewhere right now and kinda need your help. I just realised I don’t have any money on me and I need to get home. Can you come pick me up please?” She cooed.
I knew she was lying. This was another ploy to get me to see her and I wanted no part in it.
“Call your father.” I said curtly.
“Oh my. Has he come to see you? Is that why you’re being so harsh? Jake please come pick me up, I can’t call my dad; he’ll kill me.”
And what about me? I wanted to ask.
“Then call someone else, I’m busy.”
“I’ll call my father,” the tone of her voice changed. “I’ll tell him you tried to rape me yesterday.”
“What!” I couldn’t believe my ears. What exactly was this girl up to?
“I’m sorry Jake. Don’t make me do this. I just need you to pick me up.”
“Why me? What do you want from me? Why are you doing this?” Frustration echoed in my voice.
“Jake darling,” the words rolled off her tongue. “I don’t want anything from you. Don’t you understand? I just want you.”
Her words resounded in my ears. I want you, I want you…

Wordless, I hung up; not to spite her but because I was confused. I didn’t know how to respond to that confession. It was weird. I had met this girl once last week and since then my life had become a nightmare.
My phone rang again, this time I checked the caller ID, it was a different number from the one she’d used  to call me. After debating whether or not to pick the call, I decided to ignore it.
When the ringing finally stopped; my phone beeped signalling an incoming text message. By the time I read it I was convinced the girl was crazy.
The text said:
“Jake, I have the Commissioner of Police on speed dial and I won’t hesitate to use it. I don’t think you want to sleep in a cell this night. Baby, please don’t make this difficult for me. If you don’t call me for the address within five minutes, I’ll be forced to use this number. I’ll be waiting.”
I’m going to admit I was nervous. I had never encountered such a lady before and somehow I believed that her threats were not empty. As I pondered on what to do, I was very conscious of the time. She’d said five minutes. Only five damn minutes to decide whether to risk spending the night in a cell for a fabricated crime or to pick up a wacko girl from wherever she was.
I made a decision. She was the one calling the shots here, I couldn’t deny that. I dialled her number and took down the address.
When I arrived at the hotel, I said a small prayer as I got to  the door of her hotel room. I hoped to put an end to this nonsense.
“Who is it?” She asked when I knocked
When I identified myself, the door opened immediately and she stood there with a big smile on her face.
She looked every inch the woman she was. She’d overdone it a bit, though. Everything about her reeked sensuality. She was dressed in a sinfully short black gown that hugged her body and showed off her contours. The first thought that came to mind on seeing her was the book titled ‘The devil wears Prada’
“You came!” She looked delighted to see me.
“I didn’t have a choice, did I?” I snapped.
“Oh, don’t be like that darling. Come in.”
Just seeing her, I knew what her mission was already. This wasn’t going to be a rescue mission. In fact if anyone needed rescuing it was going to be me.
I found my eyes straying to her exposed chest and I berated myself.
“Sorry I had to do it that way, darling.” She slipped her hand in mine and pulled me fully into the room.
So here’s the thing; I’d never had a woman have designs on me like this one did. She’d created a very romantic and tempting setting and if I hadn’t been suspicious already, I won’t have minded one bit.
The room was dimly lit with scented candles, the blinds were drawn. There were red rose petals sprayed on the pathway leading to the bed. The bed itself was clothed in white linen sheets with rose petals decorating it. A bottle of wine stood on the bedside table.
“You like it?” She asked.
“It’s okay,” I replied, unenthusiastic. “What exactly is all this?”
“Don’t be like that, my darling. I wanted our first time to be special.” She placed a hand on my chest.
Blood of Jesus! I wanted to scream.
What on earth had I gotten myself into?
“Sonia, let’s get something straight here…” I began. “The truth is I don’t know what I’m doing here but get this; there is no ‘us’.”
Her expression underwent a change rapidly. She took a step back and stood with arms akimbo. A woman scorned…
“What the hell are you saying?” She demanded.
“I’m saying you’ve got it all wrong. There’s nothing between us and there never will be. I don’t even want to be here.”
“But…I love you Jake.” She was pleading now. “I love you and I know you love me too.”
“Sonia that’s….”
“Shut up Jake. Listen to me, I’m in love with you and I know you feel the same way too.” She pressed herself against me. “I will go to any length to have you. Read my lips.”
I suddenly had the intense need to run as far away from her as possible. Everything was getting out of hand.
“I’m sorry Sonia but I have to go.”
She stared at me for a second and just when I thought I’d finally gotten through, she stepped away from me, went to the door and locked it. And then did something strange.
She tucked the key into her bra. There was a mischievous glint in her eye.
“You wanna leave?” She asked. “Then come get it.”

At that moment I knew was screwed…

TO BE CONTINUED.